Cocktail Confessions

Got a neighborhood party you need to entertain for?  Tired of the regular old ‘jungle juice’ punch?  Full already of all the pumpkin beers?  Too early in the season still yet to be hittin’ the ‘ole egg nog?  Then how about trying out some of these ghoulish delights to warm void within on all Hallows Eve?

The Pumpkin Buttered Rum – A twist on the classic Hot Buttered Rum with it’s rich, aromatic spices is warm and soothing. The addition of pumpkin makes it more scrumptious than a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte could ever dream of being.

2 T pumpkin butter *(see recipe below)
3 oz. dark rum (an aged rum like Pyrat is a great fit, with a rich molasses flavor to it)
Boiling water

Spoon the pumpkin butter into a mug and top with the rum. Top off the mixture with boiling water and stir. Take a big whiff before gulping it down and make sure to let it cool down a bit lest you enjoy blistered tongues.

*To make the pumpkin butter, combine:

1 stick unsalted butter (softened)
2 cups light brown sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 T ginger
1/2 tsp grated nutmeg
1/3 cup pumpkin puree
Pinch ground cloves
Pinch salt

Cream the ingredients together and refrigerate to harden it up.

The Corpse Reviver – Tailor-made for a night out on the town the Corpse Reviver is a classic made for “…whenever steam and energy are needed,” or so says “The Savoy Cocktail Book”. And what night could possibly require more steam and energy than the one night of the year adults are allowed, and even expected, to take on other personas? The warmth of the brandy intermingling with the herbal bite of Fernet Branca and the icy crème de menthe combine for a surprisingly enervating pour. Just what a masked man or woman needs to carry them through the night.

1 1/2 oz. Brandy
1/2 oz. Fernet Branca
1 oz. White Creme de Menthe

In a mixing glass filled with ice, combine brandy, fernet branca and the creme de menthe and stir until completely mixed. Strain into a cocktail glass and enjoy the looks your cat costume is scoring you. Or look up one of the countless variations of the Corpse Reviver to try with your next drink.

Haunting Punch – If you’ve got a crowd at your house for Halloween, it’s hard to beat a bowl full of punch. Especially if its punch that has plenty of booze, but still manages to be more than the sugary mess that most people associate with drinks served with a ladle. The Haunting combines tea, rye, ginger, honey and citrus for a light and refreshing punch that isn’t cloying, but still packs all the flavor your guests could ask for. Event better, it tastes delicious paired with the massive bowl of M&Ms everyone always puts out for Halloween.

10 oz. Rye (Hudson brand has great spice to it, but if you don’t want to go so high-end, Jim Beam rye works well in a pinch)
4 oz. Domaine de Canton ginger liqueur
4 oz. Barenjager honey liqueur
14 oz. lemon jasmine tea (or any other citrus tea if you can’t find it)
3 oz. sugar
4 oz. orange juice
4 oz. red grapefruit juice
2 oz. lemon or lime juice
4 dashes orange bitters

Add the sugar and hot tea to a punch bowl and stir until dissolved. Once cool, add the other ingredients and stir. Add ice cubes to keep it chilled at the last minute and keep a close eye on your guests. That’s a whole lot of liquor in that bowl.

The Blood & Sand – While this cocktail gets its name from a novel by Vincente Blasco Ibanez about a bullfighter, it’s uniquely suited for an evening in watching classic, or not so classic, horror flicks. The drink has a unique red and tan glow that evokes its namesake, looking almost morbid, albeit oddly appealing, in the glass. With equal parts scotch, vermouth, cherry brandy and orange juice in the mix it’s not a cocktail for the faint of heart. But the complex cherry and almond notes of the brandy, the oak of the scotch and the sweet tang of the orange juice combine to create a flavor far better than any fun size Snickers or peanut butter pumpkin could ever be. Plus, it pairs rather nicely with an Evil Dead marathon.

3/4 oz. scotch
3/4 oz. sweet vermouth
3/4 oz. cherry brandy (Cherry Herring, a Danish liqueur, is by far the best and most traditional choice – it’s not too sweet, with a solid lug of cherry and almond and some nice herbal kick)
3/4 oz. fresh orange juice

Shake all ingredients in a shaker full of ice and strain into a cocktail glass. Then kick back, turn up the movie and tune out the trick-or-treaters.

In the era of Sex in the City, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and half the shows on the CW these days (should I admit I actually watch many of them?) many cocktail concoctions took on some frilly characteristics.  There were a lot more pink umbrellas, red sugar rims, and fruit floating about in poolside glasses than most men would like to admit too.  When was the last time you saw Steve McQueen, Tito Ortiz, T.O. or Derek Jeter sipping on a cosmo? (Well, the jury is still out on Jeter, but that’s another story).

Anyway, I want to introduce you to a few libations that are gonna put a little kick back in your step, make you howl at the moon, and thump your pecs like a silverback gorilla.  Yes, some manly men drinks sure to darken your roots and ground you back in the ’50s where men worked and there was a pot pie, a pipe, and slippers waiting fro you when you got home.

With no further ado:

The Rusty Nail

Straight out of a construction site nail gun, we’re talking two ingrediants – Drambui and Scotch.  Drambuie is a liquer made with a blends of herbs, spice, a touch of honey, and get this….more Scotch!  Liberals be damned when you pour this down your gullet.

• 1oz blended Scotch.  Pick one with enough bite to counter the slightly thicker and sweetness of the Drambuie.
• 1oz Drambuie.
• Lemon twist for garnish.
• Take a lowball glass with ice and pour both ingrediants in.  Stir quickly and drop lemon twist in, allowing natural oils of rind to blend with drink, and then pretend ‘The View’ never existed.

The Negroni

Hey look, I didn’t name this drink so back off.  I know what you’re thinking, but we evolved since then.  Negroni combines gin, vermouth and Campari and supposedly stimulates the appetite and promotes digestion.  Just what the doctor at teh Tiajuana clinic ordered.  It may be a bit tough to get used to, so you probably won’t get many requests to share, but savor this strong and in your face flavor and imagine Mel Gibson handing it to you for a job well done.

• 1oz gin (say Plymouth or Tanqueray)
• 1oz Campari (a bitter apertif)
• 3/4oz sweet vermouth.
• Put ingrediants in shaker full of ice and shake well.  Strain into a chilled cocktail glass or lowball filled with ice.  If you’re confident enough in your masculinity, you can add a cherry, but stare down anyone who gives you crap about it.

Blue Blazer

Sounding more like a mexican luchador (wrestler for you non-bilinguals), this has the added component of fire, always sure to amaze and impress.  It’s a bit more involved in preparation and not for the timid or drunk to try and mix.  We’re talking boiling water and fire, and silver plated mugs people!

• 2.5oz high proof rye whisky (100 proof or better is recommended)
• 2.5oz boiling water.  Yes, boiling.
• 1 teaspoon powdered sugar.
• lemon peel for garnish.
• 2 silver plated mugs as most other materials can’t hold up well with flames involved.
• Pour whisky in one mug with sugar and mix slightly, and boiling water in other mug.  Ignite whisky (be careful) and pour into mug of water.  Continue pouring back and forth to mix displaying a stream of fire.  When done, add lemon peel to glasses.  You are now the ‘most interesting man in the world’.