Cocktail Confessions

So who would have thought one could lose sleep over buying a new appliance?

Well, I certainly have.  It all started just over a week ago when on a Sunday I wanted to make a unique crafted pizza for the family.  Our pizza stone had cracked in half about a week earlier after a good seven years of seasoned use.  Monica and I had purchased a replacement stone for around $19 the day before and were looking forward to breaking it in.  By the way, if you’ve never used a pizza stone before, I highly recommend it.  It makes the crust very crispy as opposed to just laying it out on a cookie sheet or tin foil soaking up steam.

Anyway, I had gone out and bought garlic herb-ed dough that I rolled out by hand and let it rest.  I added my toppings as follows:  Alfredo sauce, turkey meatballs, artichoke hearts, prosciutto, both mozzarella and goat cheese, and fresh basil.  Placed my pizza lovingly on my new stone and waited 20 minutes for mouth watering perfection.  Alas, 20 minutes later my wife exclaimed it wasn’t cooked yet, the cheese barely melted!  We waited another 10 minutes and checked again,…it wasn’t much better.  I noted the temperature was set to 350, but the oven didn’t feel that hot.  After waiting almost an hour, I took the pizza out and noted that the crust was still doughy!!

Placing a separate temperature guage within, the oven barely registered 150 degrees.  Great, just great.  Pizza ruined and stove isn’t preheating correctly.  We tried again on Monday, and it didn’t heat up at all.  After placing a few calls, it seems that the EOC may need to be replaced and that was going to cost anywhere between $175-$200, and who knows how long that would last.  It didn’t take long to figure out our stove at least 9 years old, possibly older.  See, we moved into our house almost seven years ago and my wife ’thinks’ she overheard the former owners claiming the stove was at least two years old back then.  I’m not exactly sure how long gas ranges are supposed to last, but I do know the current one amounted to a whopping $450, meaning it was on the lower end of the spectrum as far as oven investments go.

After an initial discussion with my wife, we decided it was probably time to invest in a new stove.  Little did I know how expensive they could actually be.  It doesn’t help matters that we had decided some time back to go with the stainless steel aesthetic, so that usually increases any appliance purchase by 15-20%.

We looked at various models and brands including Frigidaire, Whirlpool, Maytag, LG taking into consideration two things: it had to be convection and within our budget.  After making a trip to Lowe’s to look at floor models, we realized that about $800-900 was right about where we wanted to be as far as features go.  I made inquiries at Howard’s, Pacific Sales, Best Buy, Home Depot and in the end we found that Renwes still had the best price.  They also include free delivery, removal of the old stove, free installation, and 12 month zero percent financing….a much needed blessing….as it’s never a good time to just drop that kind of money.

We ended up with a Frigidaire stainless steel convection oven with five burners (as pictured).  Now this is where my wife and I tend to change roles in our marriage.  I’m the one who usually does all the research on large ticket items….such as our refrigerator, washer and dryer, and dish washer.  I buy things that while they may not be top of the line with all the bells and whistles, I do buy the appliances that are built to last and that we will get the most use out of.  And since I do a lot of cooking myself, a stove is very important to me.  I like the fact this has 5 burners and the center insert can also be a griddle if need be.

So right after I put the down payment on it, wouldn’t you know that night I had a dream about it?  I mean, who the hell dreams of a stove?  I wasn’t dreaming about actual cooking mind you, it was about spending the money.  I get so stressed out at times, and the timing on this wasn’t planned.  We have a wedding to go to which means I have to rent a tuxedo, I’m throwing a bachelor party, my car tags and insurance are due yet again and on top of the regular mortgage and car payments, I now have to worry about monthly stove payments for the next twelve months.  To say I’m a bit stressed out is an understatement.  I have no idea how Monica and I swing all this and until my car is paid off (14 more months) we can’t really be doing any frivolous spending.  I’ll tell you one thing….I’m already tired of brown bagging my lunches and buying ‘used’ books to read.  I can’t even tell you the last time we went on a ‘real’ vacation.  The last weekend getaway we had was a discounted 3 day sleep-over in Palm Springs about 2 years ago.  Our current vacations or days off require we stay at home to fix various odds and ends.

It’s pointed out to me on occassion that my job exists solely based on the fact that others are morons, and we live in a society today where people like their hands to be held.

Whether we now live in a collective culture fo complacency or laziness, people call support services for the likes of all things.  And by that I also mean, they call for the obvious or just call because they jsut can’t seem to be bothered by using their own brain and the common sense that should go along with it.

Occassionaly there are those news stories where someone (usually in low income or urban settings) will call 9-1-1 to report that their fast food order was wrong, that the cheeseburger in fact had no cheese, or the window attendant forgot to place ketchup in the bag.

But stupidity and laziness isn’ just confined to fast food establishments and to those that believe WalMart is just this side of Heaven’s pearly gates.  No, stupidity knows no boundries or socio-economic classes.  Where there are humans, there is eventually a lack of perception, self-awareness, or thought at some random time.

I work at a techinical company.  I will even go as far as to say my compnay ‘manufactures’ technical equipment.  We have engineers, developers, copy writers, quality assurance inspectors, etc., that we apparantly pay large sums of money to, in hopes that they will design a sustainable product to be aptly sold in the market place for a return that will keep us all employed and keep the company growing.  The aforementioned people are also some of the worst abusers of common sense and I often wonder what our screening process is.

I’ll be the first to admit I’m no Albert Einstein, but I do take pause on occassion to note what I am doing prior to calling the Help Desk.  So what prompted my little tirade today?  Well, today I’ve been on the receiving end of a bevy of questionable calls:

“The video conferencing machine is not working properly.  We can’t see anything on the screen?”

Is the TV and/or monitor on?  No?  Go ahead and turn it on please.

“You guys are blocking the Internet.  I can’t check anything including my email.

Please look in the back of your PC.  Do you see green/amber lights? No? Is the ethernet cable plugged in? No?  Go ahead and plug that in please.

“My phone isn’t working.  I can’t make any calls.”

You do realize you just called me, right?  And you can hear me?  Good.  I can hear you.  Case solved.

“I just turned on the printer in my department.”

Er…okay?  Was there something wrong?  No?  Okay, in that case I’m very proud.  Nice job on toggling the power switch. 

“The printer just stopped printing mid -ob.  There is a red light on next to the paper tray.”

Please add more paper to the empty tray.

“The laser pointer in the main conference room is not lighting up when I hold the button down.  It generally always works, but we noticed it’s been acting sporadic lately.”

Have you checked the batteries?  Perhaps you should try changing them since it’s been in use for over a year.

I can’t install this software I just bought.  It’s says Windows XP on the box and I have a Microsoft computer.

But our company runs Window 2000.

I could go on and on with much more involved and ludicrous tales.  I picked the easiest ones here to type, but it amazes me how many of these guys are in fact engineers, or people who have worked here for years (as if we in IT just decided to come in one day and change ‘everything’ overnight that we knew was going to directly affect one random person and its a conspiracy on our behalf to not tell anyone.  Yeah, because we are that bored and we all collectively decided together that we all wanted to take these calls today as a challenge to validate our mental stability.

Well, for right now I’m holding off on getting a new Droid phone.  As much as I would like to get the Droid X, my current Motorola Droid (gen 1) is only 9 months old and I can’t justify in my mind spending the money on a new flavor just to say I have the latest and greatest.  I’d personally feel more grateful internally if I can last a whole year before I actually upgrade, and I may even get lucky and get the Droid X at a slightly cheaper price anyway.

But as these things go, I suppose as soon as I get the Droid X, a new Android phone will be announced that will even be better.  On the bright side, the long awaited update, Froyo (aka 2.2), is supposed to drop OTC this week which mean Flash is just around the corner.

And despite all those people that have the iPhone, a report was issued today stating that in North America, out of all the smart phones, that the Android OS is the most widely distributed.

Doesn’t Lady Gaga look like Marilyn Manson?  I don’t know why, but in this pick I can’t help but think that she does.  I don’t think she’s all that great looking, but she has a new spread in Vanity Fair this month, and it’s the best I’ve ever seen her (BTW: this isn’t one of the pics).  Me thinks she had plastic surgery in the past…..in the nose region.

Had a wonderful smoked brisket this weekend.  It was a lot of work, but my friends seemed to enjoy it pretty well and gave me accolades for my efforts.  It’s definitely a social thing though, and would benefit a group of guys hanging around sharing a case of beer and stories all day than doing it solo.  I took plenty of video’s and pictures of the process, and I hope to have those up soon here and on YouTube.

Speaking of which, my friend Brian made an excellent potato salad with blue cheese, chipotle, and smoked paprika amongst other ingredients and it was delicious.  He said he’d give me the recipe and I’ll post here in the future as well.

Er, why does Lindsay Lohan get released after 14 days of her 90 day sentence?  If it were any Joe Blow or Jane Doe, we’d serve the full time.  Pisses me off, this double-standard crap that so-called spoiled celebrities get to take advantage of.  It’s crap on all levels.

Worked on a HO structure model this Sunday during my personal down time.  I love my hobby of model building for trains.  It’s fun and relaxing, although it can be a long and arduous process.  Wish I had a bit more money so I could start my benchwork for my layout.

Started a new book: “The Art of Racing in the Rain”.  It’s a novel whose story is told through the eyes and soul of a 13 year old yellow Labrador.  Very touching and moving.  Dare I say I’ve already been moved to tears after the opening chapter?  I’ve been reading more books lately based on animals and have been enjoying them immensely.  I just finished ‘Dog Town’, based on true account of the Best Friends Animal Society in Kanab, Utah.

Finally, I really need to start my diet as of yesterday.  I have approx 2.5 months to drop close to 15 lbs for a wedding in which I am the best man.  I had an excellent meal and beer fest this past Saturday, so the last two days I’m just drinking water, coffee, and ice tea.

It’s been a bit of a stretch since I last rattled off a humorous little true tale.  At least I can say tthat after a few days, this story has indeed become more humorous to me as opposed to my initial disappointment and frustration when it took place a few evening ago.

First, let me give you all a little of the setup, or background.  I have an 18 year old step daughter, whom by all accounts is a very creative individual.  However, that being said, doesn’t always translate into practical street smarts or the comprehension of the obvious.  Often, my wife and and I find ourselves having to explain things to the “n-th” degree.  At times, it really can turn into an exercise in patience and I often ponder if this is a continual test from the creator to that is supposed to teach me a valuable lesson (which I find myself constantly failing BTW), or that He, in all His glory and wisdom has a gets bored on occasion and likes to amuse Himself by playing various Prank’d jokes on us all to see how we will react.

My step-daughter also only works part time.  And when I say part time, I literally mean about 16 hours a week.  She is currently not enrolled in traditional school (she’s attempting to get her GED or diploma equivlency through some ridiculous CA government run program that screams retail all over it).  All you, as the reader, need to know is this translates to my wife and I both working full time anywhere between 45-50 hours each a week, and allows my step-daughter to watch Sponge Bob or Comedy Central marathons at the equivalent of 8 hours day.  Something that will change shortly, by the way.

It would occasionally be nice to come home to maybe …., oh, say…. a prepared meal for the family seeing that we work all day long.  Is that too much to ask?  Is it out of line to think the that the house could be vacuumed, the kitchen floor mopped, or the plants watered occasionally,…..say between commercials, or is that oh soooo busy day of sitting on the couch pondering about getting a drivers license taking up too much valuable time?  Apparently so.

More times that I’d like to admit, either my wife or myself are the ones that come home from a long day at work, only to find ourselves doing the cleaning and making dinner.  Hardly seems fair, but also we need it done correctly and not half-assed, or as my a friend put it the other day, ‘quarter-assed’.

So the other night it was approaching 7pm and I had yet to start dinner (after a ten hour day) and my wife was bowling as she does once a week on a league.  My daughter came to me and inquired about dinner. Ugh, are you kidding me??  Again, and I know this may come off as sounding rude, mean, or not very understanding, but the fact that she was waiting for me yet once again to provide her sustenance after she sat home and did nothing all day long really irked me.  I think she got the initial gist of my facial contortion as she quickly recovered and offered up, ”Would you like me to make dinner for us?”

My jaw just about dropped.  Not only did she offer to make dinner, but she also included me into the mix and not as an afterthought or non-thought as is the usual case.  I said, “That would be nice.  There is some prepackaged fish in the freezer.  Just preheat the oven and pop them in.  I’m going to take a shower and be down in a bit.”, and I watched her scamper back downstairs and heard both the freezer open and oven start.  I thought everything was okay at this point. 

I should also know better by now.

After my shower, I began to traipse downstairs only to smell something slightly burning.  She was sitting on the couch, laptop in hand, exchanging glances between the TV screen and the computer she was inevitably harvesting crops in FarmVille.

I walked into the kitchen and opened the oven.

There were our fish fillets, on a cookie sheet, uncovered or protected, with their toppings having melted and slid off the fish and began to burn and bubble in a pool inside the oven.  I quickly pulled the cookie sheet out to avoid further burning and grabbed the box in which the fillets came.

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees,
2. PLACE FISH IN OVEN SAFE DISH
3. COVER
4. Bake for 22-25 minutes, or until fish is opaque in color

That’s it folks.  Four points of instruction in our native tongue of English.

Somehow, someway, and don’t even ask me to explain because I can’t and I’m just as left in the dark as you are, my daughter skipped over steps 2 & 3.  She got the oven to 425, and set the timer for 25 minutes, yet somehow was able to miss the part where you place the fish in an oven safe dish and then to cover them.  These instructions, I imagine, were there for the sole purpose to purposely avoid the topping spill over and burning.  When I asked her about this, the blank stare of a deer in head-lights spoke volumes.

I was just barely able to salvage the fillets with only half the toppings.  I then looked about the rest of the kitchen to see what else was being prepared.  Usually with a fish fillet dinner or when someone offers to cook you a dinner, one might expect to see a salad and/or a side dish as well.  A piece of bread may be a topper on a meal such as this.  Sadly, and not really to my surprise, there was nothing else on the menu this evening.  Nope, just over-cooked, dried-out fish on a cookie sheet.

The more I thought about it it that evening the angrier I was getting, but then I had an epiphany the following day.  Maybe my daughter is actually a genius!  Maybe by intentionally screwing up this meal, this is her way of saying “Look old man, maybe you need to cook dinner all the time.  I can’t possibly be bothered by reading instructions and therefor you will be more inclined to start dinner when you get home from work and how dare you interrupt my Facebook time.”  If that is indeed the case, then she is actually brilliant and a well played scheme on her end.

Hmmmm….

The last few days I’ve had a mild case of writers block when it’s come to thinking about a topic to discuss .  Oh, I’ve had a few ideas percolating within the old noggin, mostly about my upcoming few days off, or some great beers I’ve recently had.   However, just as I was about to put it off for yet another day, I realized my place of employment has a rich cavern of stupid gems I can mine from on a regular basis, and today I struck gold!

We have a thing at work called ’5S’, and the majority of normal folk can’t tell you what all the S’s stand for (Sort, Shine are all I can remember), but it’s an idea developed by the Japanese that has something to do along the lines of making your place of employment a better overall experience.  It has to do with maintaining a clean and safe environment, things should look tidy and put away, everything in order…blah, blah, blah.  In concept it sounds like a decent idea, but in practice and personal experience it’s more of a hassle that only a few people seem to really get off on. 

And by a few people, I mean a minority handful of select kiss-asses who take this concept to an irrational level of eleven.  I swear, it has turned these individuals into the Gestapo of ridiculous policies where a committee of ‘yes men’ all pat themselves on the back for forming an adhoc committee to discuss the obvious.  The problem I have with it is that it takes all the ability of logical problem solving skills and responsibility of the sane workers and places it in the hands of a handful who take forever to rule on what would seem a no-brainer to the rest. 

This committee of five or six has a tour once every three months, armed with a digital camera, clip boards, and frazzled panic and walk around the facilities to point out and document things that need to be cleaned up, repaired, or fixed for safety reasons.  Like I said, 5S seems decent in concept, but now its more of a nuisance than anything else.  The majority of big ticket items were addressed the first few times.  Now I have the feeling they are just making shit up or going overboard to justify their own experience.  It’s as if they ‘have’ to find something on each walkthru now, and if they don’t they either failed or try harder.  It’s gotten nit-picky to epic proportions and eye-roll inducing at worst.  I am convinced they are on a mission to write anything down now just so they can say they found something.  God forbid the company actually passes one of these tours.  It has literally come down to things such as which font is used to mark a door, or how wide a tape marker is….a half inch or a quarter inch these days.

All this leads up to today’s asinine event: The speaker.

Apparently they had a dry run today for the actual walkthru on Wednesday of this week.  In one of our least populated buildings there is a secured area that only a few people have access to and way out of the way for a regular employee to find themselves near.   Now in that secured room which has plenty of open space, there is a single mono speaker sitting on a portable plastic step….in the corner. 

There is nothing special or noteworthy about this speaker other than the fact it looks like it came from Radio Shack back in the late 70′s as it is adorned with some tacky beige tweed fabric.  It doesn’t work, or at least it hasn’t been hooked up to anything in at least three years that I have been with the company, and I’m sure many years before that.  Like I said, it is sitting in a corner doing nothing but collecting dust.

Anyway, even though the ‘committee’ has walked through this area multiple times in the past and this speaker has never caused a problem, stolen any kids lunch money, or made racial epithets, today it has now become a red-ticket, high priority, def-con-one issue.  Why today and not the last dozen times they’ve walked through this room?  Your guess is as good as mine.

So the committee of managers and higher-up muckity-mucks decide to talk amongst themselves and call my boss.  My boss in turns talks with another supervisor to discuss who owns the speaker, what is it doing now, what was it’s original purpose, and what can the company do about it before Wednesday.  Both my boss and supervisor then contact yours truly to understand and glean information from me on the history and current dossier of the six inch woofer.  I explain that is has been there for longer than I have been employed here, that it is not hooked up nor has been for at least three years and that no one knows who is responsible for it judging from the quarter inch of dust on it.  I simply reply, “Throw it out.”

I am instead met with “Well, we have to follow procedures.” and “We have to make some calls.” and more back and forth banter between them seemingly goes on for much longer than a govermental selection and vetting process of a Supreme Court nominee. 

Finally, when it is all said and done, they open an electronic ticket for me in our work process flow system to have me dispose of the speaker.  This equates to me printing out a ticket, walking down to the building, grabbing the speaker, throwing it in the trash, walking back, and then closing out the ticket.  My manual labor of throwing the speaker out was all of 30 seconds….the paperwork I had to acknowledge and then sign afterwards about ten minutes worth.

Now why none of the Muckity-mucks couldn’t just throw it out themselves in the beginning and just be done with it?  Why make multiple phone calls to various people to discuss the fate of a speaker that is clear close to forty years old and doing nothing but holding down a non-moving step ladder?  Why open a ticket and assign it to me for something this ludicrous?  Who the hell knows other than to justify their won existence.  I mean why bother with trying to improve employee moral, or invest in new equipment to make our jobs easier, or strategizing about how to improve our overall standing in the marketplace….there are paperclips out of place somewhere and mismatching paper cups in the cafeteria, and by golly, we’re going to find them.

It has been a very productive week for me, although I didn’t get to do everything I wanted to.  My plans were a little bit ambitious now that I look back at them, or perhaps it’s the fact that I am coming to terms that I am getting older and I just don’t have the energy that I used to.

With my wife and daughter out of town this week, I knew I wanted to purge my house of unwanted and unwarranted collectibles that we tend to stash away and forget.  I wanted to make myself an amazing grilled rack of lamb dinner with risotto and stuffed portabella mushrooms.  I wanted to record another podcast, hit the gym, take myself to a movie, straighten up the office, play a few video games, and finally make an account change at the bank.

I didn’t get to do those things.  I was either too tired, too sore, or thought I can push it off just one more day.

But all was not a complete loss.  I did make some progress in projects and other things about the house.  Most of the following stuff took place on Wed. Among them:

• I did steam clean the downstairs carpet.
• Watered plants in the backyard.
• I did vacuum and also mop the downstairs kitchen.
• I loaded, ran, and unloaded the dishwasher.
• I changed out all the burnt out light bulbs in the house.
• I power washed the outside front of our house to comply with an HOA letter regarding some dirty water run off from the rain.
• I was able to do a few loads of laundry.
• I did take my dog Frankie for a long walk, buy him new food, and organize many of his toys to a new storage bin.  I also picked up his dookies in the backyward.
• I was able to work on one of my train models, although I had intended to make more progress than I actually did.
• I did manage to reorganize the upstairs closet, a few drawers in the kitchen, and the coat closet downstairs.  This afforded me to fill our recyclable 55 gallon trash can about 75%.

That last point was liberating.  It feels go to purge and throw out old magazines, various collected take out menus, numerous odds and ends that I have no idea what their use was originally intended for.  I wish I could have gotten rid of more crap, and perhaps I will this weekend.  I have intentions of cleaning out the spare bedroom closest and even culling my 15+ year wardrobe by at least 10%.  Throw in a few more random drawers, and see how many more books and old DVD’s I can put up on Amazon.com to sell.  I actually already sold one DVD for $10 the same day I put it up.  It’s a love/hate chore that seems like a necessity.  It’s a lot of work, it is dirty work, and it’s not very fun.  However, seeing the waste management company take it all away, never to see any of that stuff my return to my house again seems to lift an invisible weight from my shoulders.  It’s like I’m reclaiming a few square feet in my place.  I feel slightly more organized, lighter, more efficient, and not so pack-rat-ish.

The strangest aspect of all this cleaning is my introspective and solo thoughts of what am I going to do with all this stuff one day?  There will be a day where my life will be winding down, and I will contemplate on moving to a smaller house.  I will wonder how to begin the process of giving my stuff away to neighbors and charities because I cannot take it with me in death.  Will I sell some of it to pay for medication?  Will I make a child or collector happy with old toys of mine?  Do I burden my remaining family on cleaning up after me and figuring out what to do with all this stuff after I’m gone?  My grandfather is going through this phase now.  At 90 some years old, he constantly giving things away, and he no longer wants tangible gifts for birthdays and holidays.  He now wants gift certificates to the grocery store, or local restaurants.  He doesn’t want any more things.  He doesn’t want to dust them, move the, learn how to use them.  Someday, I will face the same thing.

Evenings saw me make spaghetti once, and salmon burgers twice.  I hit the bottle of Jack Daniels a few times, and had my share of ice cream.  I can tell you that I’m wiped out.  Thursday morning my whole body was sore, and it took multiple cups of coffee for me to fake coherency.  Thursday night seen me in bed by 9:30, struggling to keep my eyes open.

My wife and daughter come back home tonight.  I plan on perhaps sitting on the porch with my neighbors sharing a beer, perhaps grilling a bit of dinner, maybe catching a movie on Netflix, and hitting my bed at a reasonable hour.  Tomorrow will be another day and I’m already contemplating on what gets pitched next.

Well, here it is, Episode 15.  I wish I could say I’m really happy with the outcome, but in my own humble opinion, it’s “meh” at best.  Why you ask?  Originally, I had sat down last weekend with my friend Brian Liles (yet again) and had made a sweet recording that was a good solid hour plus.  It could have easily been broken into two seperate Podcasts, and I think it was one of our best yet.  There was a myriad of interesting topics on the table as well as we had at least three to four craft beers in us each as we made it.

However, due to the fact that I hadn’t take the time to reboot my computer after some auto-installed patches from Microsoft prior to our recording, it seems that Audacity (my podcast recording software) somehow corrupted the data.  No matter how many times I tried to recover the orphan files after a failed save attempt, I just couldn’t resurect it.  As I say in this podcast, let that be a lesson to all you tech heads out there.  Always reboot your PC after critical patches are downloaded and installed.  I clearly should have known better, so I have no one to blame but myself.

Feeling somewhat pressed to have a new episode ready, I took my portable Zoom to work and made this recording on my lunch break while sitting in my car.  I’m happy with the audio quality, but as you’ll hear, there was really no set agenda for this one.  It’s about 40 minutes of me ranting on some of my political views, Howard Stern, and my upcoming business trip to Atlanta, GA.  Also, I was able to throw in a cocktail recipe, the ‘original’ Texas-tini (not my version from a few weeks back in which I thought I was so clever with the name), and a recipe for grilling artichokes.  Hence the title ‘Smorgasbord’.

In other news, I’m rapidly approaching my 40th birthday (8 days from this writing) and I am clearly having a mild midlife crisis.  I hope its not too evident in my recording, but I’ve been feeling a bit under pressure lately in various personal aspects: financial, work, trying to be a father to a teenage girl, etc. So perhaps that lends to my somewhat dour attitude in if you pick up on it.  Hopefully I’ll snap out of it soon because it really just doesn’t feel like me and I’m very aware of it.

I’ll work on the show notes and recipes contained within later if I get a chance, but suffice to say I will be out on business the next week (starting tomorrow) so I most likely won’t be making any updates here for at least a week. 

As I usually do, I try an pick an intro song that encapsulates either my mood or something that somehow pertains to the audio content of the episode.  Here, I chose “Take this Job and Shove it” by Johnny Paycheck.  I have two comments about this: 1) Yeah, I’m not gonna be quitting my job anytime soon, but the last few weeks, I really feel as if I’ve been holding back my frustration on various career related issues and I’m just not that happy overall, and 2) I really thought Johnny ‘Paycheck’ was a fake name and he was trying to cash in on the name Johnny Cash, especially when you have a song about a job and then shoving it.  Turns out, I was partially correct, as his real name was Donald Eugene Lytle.

Texas-Tini II

• 3 oz whisky (try a sweet or smooth blend like Crown Royal or Canadian Mist)
• 1.5 oz sweet vermouth
• 1/2 oz Blue Curacao (orange flavored liquer, but blue in color)
• Shake all three ingrediants over ice and pour in sugar rimmed martini glass, or mix all three in lowball glass over ice and skip sugar.

Grilled Artichoke

• 2 fresh artichokes, stems cut at least 1 inch from base.
• Place artichokes in pot of boiling water with the freshly squeezed juice of 1/2 lemon to reduce oxidation of leaves (prevents leaves from turning brown). (Optional: zest some of the lemon peel and add zest (to taste) to fresh mayo.  Mix, and chill in advance for dipping.  Lemon zest adds a nice fresh, flavorful kick to the mayo).
• Remove after 25-28 minutes of cooking, drain excess water, and let cool enough to handle.
• Preheat grill to medium-low heat/flame.
• With sharp knife, cut artichoke in half, lengthwise and remove choke/heart (purpleish center with bristles) with spoon.
• Brush halves with olive oil and season with kosher or sea salt and fresh ground pepper.
• Place flat side down on grill, cooking approx 2-3 minutes, then turn 45 degrees and cook additional 2-3 minutes or until nice grill marks appear.  In the last few minutes, ‘drizzle’ some quality balsamic vinegar over artichokes for additional flavor and color.
• Serve with fresh lemon zest mayo (above), and/or melted butter and garlic combo.

Show Notes

• Coming soon

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One of the old adage’s we have all heard time and time again, but seemingly and knowingly tend to ignore for various (and quite possibly mischievous) reasons is to never talk politics or religion with those you are close with or coworkers.

I came across a recent news article online regarding an anonymous benefactor back in Minneapolis who purchased some billboard space and had the following picture adorned on the side of the highway.  Personally, I found the picture quite funny as former President Bush looks a tad cartoonish here, but more so in lieu of all the pop-shots the media has been taken this last year at the right and Sarah Palin.

Now before you get your own personal panties in a tizzy, I’ll have you know that while I do consider myself a person who leans towards the conservative side of things, my stance the last few years has grown increasingly Independent.  See, personally, I wasn’t happy with the last few years of the Bush administration, not because of his convictions or morals, but more so because I thought his administration dropped the ball on a few things and forgot about many others.  I believe the GOP had lost sight of their core constituents and stopped listening to those who placed them into office.  I am one of those Americans who no longer believe that those in Washington were working for the people, but working for their own designs and elitist agenda.

That goes for both parties, and while I’ll be the first to say I will never be a ‘liberal’ or lean so far left that I throw all common sense out the window, the ‘right’ hasn’t been doing themselves any favors in my eyes either. 

Enter the 2008 election where the messiah of Hope and Change was elected to nauseating heights and the masses began to trip over themselves as they abandoned all common sense and truly became blind and deaf to the world around changing around them. 

Now it’s more than a year later and this administration continues to blame the previous guard for all their shortcomings.  Healthcare?  No.  Immigration?  No.  Guantonimo?  No.  Iraq?  No.  National Security?  No.  Stimulus?  No.  Housing market?  Not yet.  Iran?  Still no.  The list goes on and on, but I digress.

I placed this picture on my Facebook page as an attempts of humor, and I was shocked on how quickly and visceral the comments were from my ‘liberal’ friends.  Yes, I do have friends who swing left, but I always find it very amusing that they are also the most intolerant and one-track mind when it comes to politics.  The party that proclaims to be progressive, enlightened, and tolerant of all viewpoints….really isn’t.  No, sadly when it comes to politics and religion, if you can’t agree with them or sit back and laugh, they take their ball home from the sandbox and pout.

Does that mean all liberals?  Before you flood my email and comments with yet more knee jerk reactions, the answer is no, of course not all liberals are this uptight.  I’m just stating from my own personal pool of friends (who will remain nameless here) is the old “They can dish it out, but can’t take it themselves” attitude.  When Obama won and was sworn in I can’t recall any of my conservative friends throwing a hissy fit.  However, you mention any of the string of quantifiable instances that Obama hasn’t been able to pull off any of his agenda of ‘change’ as promised you better duck for cover and steel yourself for the tirade of insults that are about to fly your way.

To my liberal friends….lighten up, drink a cocktail..or in your case two or three.  We’re still friends, we’re still adults, act your age and prove me wrong that you can actually handle a little criticism, even if in jest.  You only have three years left to enjoy this mess anyway.

Oy Vey, and I’m not even Jewish.

Things over here have recently taken a turn like David Hasselhoff at Happy Hour.  Your’s truly (or perhaps not so truly depending on your perspective on things), has been saddled with a horrid case of seasonal bronchitis.  Just in time for the holiday season, my longs have really been taken the giving spirit a little too literally.  They’ve been packaging and repackaging all the wonderful colors of the Noel continuum: green, red, yellow and a few shades of yule log brown.

Nope, I haven’t been this sick in quite a few years, and it’s been keeping me in bed for the better half of the last week or so.  Hence the planned podcast ‘Episode 13′ and ‘Episode 14′ have been delayed until I get my voice back.  Yeah, I’m pretty sure you all don’t want to hear me hack, gurgle, wheeze, and cough for a half hour at a time.

In the meantime, thanks to Erik Gibson over at SkurvyMonekys.com and BlendedMonkeys.com for adding Cocktail Confessions to their link sites as well.  We’ve discussed some very preliminary plans to possibly do a cross-promotional show sometime in the future if I can get Skype up and running since the players involved currently live in three geographically undesirable regions from one another.

Anyway, I look forward to getting….erect, er…., ‘upright’ again to do my next episode.  Recently visited Stone Brewery in Escondido, CA and did the tour and had some awesome porters and IPA’s to talk about.  Also there was the drunken ‘wing night’ with Chip and Ryan over at Hannah’s of RSM, CA, and of course the drunken New Years Eve with power saws, stolen wood pallets, and being in the pitch black.  Oh and of course some new Christmas gadgets I got will be reviewed and discussed here as well.

Came across this news story from FOXnews earlier today, and as soon as I read where….why wasn’t I surprised?  Okay, sorry if this seems somewhat insensitive, but all stereotypes are indeed borne out of some truth….otherwise it wouldn’t be labeled a ‘stereotype’.

The number of teenage moms has increased in recent years — and one Chicago high school has reportedly become a shocking example of that, revealing that one in eight of its female students are pregnant.

Of the 800 female students at Paul Robeson High School in Chicago, Ill., 115 are expectant mothers, CBS2Chicago.com reported Thursday.

The staggering number can be attributed to various factors inside the home — not the school — principal Gerald Morrow told the station.

“It can be a lot of things that are happening in the home or not happening in the home, if you will,” Morrow said, according to the network, noting that “absentee fathers” are another factor in the school’s high number of teen pregnancies.

The birth rate for teens ages 15 to 19 increased 5 percent from 2005 to 2007, according to a March 18 report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Health Statistics.

What I can’t believe (actually I can because it does indeed defy conventional logic….but that’s what left-centric causes and ideologies perpetuate…excuses and placing the responsibility on someone else’s shoulders rather than those that put themselves there to begin with.), is the fact that the explanation comes in the lame form of “It can be a lot of things that are happening in the home or not happening in the home..”

Really?  Whoa!  Some one check out Mr. smartypants and his credentials.  Of course it can be things happening or not happening in the home…I’d like to take a stab at it…Teenage kids are having unprotected sex and no one (including the kids) are taking any responsibility for it! 

Now don’t give me this horseshit that kids aren’t educated or don’t know any better, or lack of sex education or that they come from poverty.  My word man, are you really telling me that more than 1 out of 8 kids in Chicago are that stupid?  Well, since it actually takes two kids to make things happen, the odds of getting two like minded dumb-shits together seems somewhat staggering.  What you’re trying to sell me is that these kids apparently don’t know what happens from movies, from neighbors, parents, church, siblings, television, the streets, or say….the other 100+ kids in the school that made the same judgment call.  There are countries out there with much worse social and financial problems than we have and their pregnancy rates aren’t that high and that concentrated.  No, are kids and those that surround them are in la-la land and think good ‘ole Uncle Sam has the responsibility to take care of them.  Bullshit.

STOP making excuses for these r-tards and stop asking me and the rest of the Joe Public and government to pay for them.  In the advent of health care reform the president and the left is trying to rail through capitol hill, our monies are going to pay for this.  No…..