Cocktail Confessions

Sometimes I wonder just how lazy I actually am.  It’s a hard question to really answer both honestly and contextually if I think about it for any given amount of time.  And the only really reason I am thinking about it now is that I am too lazy to do anything else more constructive.  However, since I am actually developing a post in the right here and the right now goes to show you I have enough motivation and energy to devout to such a mundane topic, perhaps I am not that lazy afterall.

I suppose laziness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.  Or a matter of opinion and perspective.

My wife was gone on a business trip this last week and left me home alone to fend for myself the last five days.  Now generally speaking I am not a lazy person.  I actually get more done in the early hours of the day, than the average Joe does before finishing his first cup of coffee.  I also try an plan out my free time (i.e. not slaving away at my actual job) to fit in the myriad of chores most men slough off.  I do my own laundry, I vacuum, I mop, I do dishes, I walk the dog, I pull weeds, I pick up dog crap, etc., etc.  I also manage to fit in numerous other tasks on the weekends and still manage to get in some drinks and entertainment. 

This can also leave me exhausted, or too brain numb for the trivial things, such as overlooking the fact if there is enough soap or ‘body wash’ in shower when it’s time to get clean.  Not just once, but two days in a row now, thank you kindly.

See I was in the shower the other day and reached for the soap bottle when I discovered it was empty.  So naturally I reached for the other one (it’s always good to have a back up), only to realize that my backup was also bone dry inside.  How I did not notice the evening before they were both empty and why they were still in the shower is something only my subconscious could answer if it wasn’t marinating in a jacuzzi of hops and barley. 

Now the first thing that came to mind was contemplating if there was a full bottle available in the closet which I am sure there was, but this is where the laziness kicks in:  the thought of getting out of a hot shower, dripping and walking to the closest to retrieve bottle of new soap seemed like a very daunting and bothersome task, even if it only did take 20 seconds.  The whole thought process bouncing around in my noggin, weighing both the pros and cons of such a bold and innovative solution took longer than if I just would have performed the task initially.  And again, the fact I am detailing this all out in this very post is beyond any sane comprehension.

Then another bottle grabbed my attention.  It was blue, very blue in fact, and it isn’t that much a of a stretch of the imagination to realize it also had a faint hint of blueberry fragrance.  What was it?  It was my dog’s specially formulated body scrup/shampoo.  I picked up and scanned the bottle.  I read the ingrediants…seemed all above board and normal.  I took a small whiff…yup…blueberries for sure.  I looked at the price: $14.99.  Surly, if his shampoo costs more than mine it can’t be all that bad. 

So with all the facts and circumstances laid out before me, I am readily admitting that due to my laziness of not wanting to temporarily get out of the shower, I lathered by whole body up from head to toe in my dogs shampoo.

Would it suprise you to learn that the following day, knowing full well ahead of time I was out of body wash stepping back into teh shower, that of course I forgot again?  Well, don’t be.  I did indeed forget the second day, and once again lathered up in my doggy sudz, both of us smelling like blueberries.