Cocktail Confessions

Let me post first a little disclaimer today before you continue reading here.  I’m a little cranky and tired today.  If you’re one of my friends, you know what this mean and how my moods work.  See, I had a long day at work yesterday, and of course when I got home my step-daughter was locked in her room (as is the norm) and my wife was out bowling so I made my own dinner.  I had just received a pretty shitty haircut an hour or so before because my wife kept nagging me to do so before Thanksgiving, and to be honest, I think I looked better before the haircut.  Anyway, I went to bed at 10pm, super tired, just to be woken up by my wife at around 11pm who turned our bedroom radio on pretty loud so she could fall asleep to it.  Well, within 10 minutes, not only was the radio just as loud as it was before, but now she began snoring where it would last basically all night long.  After poking her at least a dozen times, asking her to roll over, etc., etc., I gave up and tried to sleep downstairs on the couch.  Needless to say, I didn’t get much sleep at all last night, and even two cups of strong coffee later, I still feel like I’m in a fog and have to put in another day at work.  I imagine it’s going to be a long day at that.  So, if you think this entry is a little harsh…well, you’ve been warned ahead of time.

Now, on to the main topic: Graduation Day.

Supposedly today is my almost 19 year old step-daughter’s ‘graduation day’.  We are all going out to a ‘celebratory’ dinner this evening with my in-laws and my parents and a few of my wife’s friends.  I only found out about this the other day and had no stake or say in any of the planning.

We’re going to P.F. Chang’s and it’s my understanding there will be at least nine of us, and I have no idea whose footing the bill.  I feel awkward that my mom called me and wanted to know if we were paying for the whole thing, or are we splitting the bill.  My wife never told me the details, so it will be a surprise to me as well, a surprise I really cannot afford.

Anyway, I have really mixed feelings about this whole thing and I don’t know where I fall yet.  On the one hand, I suppose it is a milestone and it signifies the closing of one chapter in her life and the start of a new chapter, however, in terms of my step-daughter her life is more like a comic book than it is a well written novel.  Her mother is happy as are my in-laws.  The cards have been coming in the mail, the phone calls have started, and tonight is the culmination party that everyone is looking forward too….but here’s where I fall short….I’m not sure why everyone is so damn excited.

My step-daughter shot herself in the foot when it came to high-school.  She made a concerted effort to ditch classes, ‘forget’ her homework, have a crappy attitude, always had a story or an excuse fro everything, and basically made it impossible for herself to go to a real high school.  We tried hard to get her enrolled, but by the time she came to live with us, she was already a grade behind, and would never make up the credits in time.  No high school in the area would have her.  She ended up on independent study, and I’ll be honest folks…..I took a look at some of the ‘homework’ packages and assignments she had to do on a weekly basis…..it was a fricken’ joke.  They were basically glorified ‘activity books’, and the whole time she was in this program, (about a year), I never saw her study for a single test, nor did I ever see her bring home an exam.

Now you might say, “Well, you’re the parent now…why don’t you get involved and take a vested interest?”  I actually did at first.  My wife and I sat her down and had a long and exhausting talk (more than once now that I think about it) about ther furture, her school, employment, etc.  My wife dropped her off at her once a week class, and I picked her up and brought her home.  I eventually gave up on my interest when after the first few times I inquired on how things were going, I got the typical rebellious teen answers. 

Yeah, it may not be nice, may not sound caring, may sound stand-offish, but I eventually came to the conclusion she still didn’t care and I never saw a really inkling that she ever would, so I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste my energy on this.  All it did was make me mad the more I continued thinking about it, and thus always put me in a bad mood.  It didn’t help that I also felt a little trapped being the step-father.  For whatever reason, I never culminated a ton of respect from her, and she may call me ‘dad’, but through her body language and other mannerisms it’s made clear to me almost daily I am not her father and never will be.  I’m just the guy who married her mother.

I hate that feeling and I’ll be honest…it hurt my feelings for quite some time and I still ocasionally get an emotional paign over it, but as time marches on, I have become increasingly immune to those feelings.  She has closed herself off and ignored my input and advice for so long that I began to form my own wall around myself.  I can honestly say unless she makes an effort to chip away at that wall, to let me in and treat me with some semblance of respect after everything I have put up with and endured over the last couple I find myself no longer caring at all.

Yes, that’s sad.  She’s a bright, creative, and intelligent young girl.  There is no learning disability or shortcoming on her end, just pure laziness.

So she’s done with school now.  Now what?  As far as I know she has no plan for college including the local community college.  I have heard no discussion on trade schools, hell, I don’t even know what she wants to do.  She doesn’t have a state ID card, nor a driver’s license, and shows no motivation to get either as well. 

There is no plan.

She will be 19 in 3 months from now, and has not one iota of direction.  Unless she marries rich, or lucks her way into something by fate, she is destined to be working retail and will be scraping by trying to makes ends meet for the rest of her life.  And we’re celebrating this tonight?  We’re celebrating the fact she ‘graduated’ a year after she should have to begin with?  Congratulating her on a substandard education?  On lack of motivation?  Recognizing she ditched regular school and put herself in this position to begin with?  Okay, call me a dick, but I just don’t get it.

She currently works part time at a retail store in the mall and takes public transportation during the week and has her mother pick her up late at night after the buses stop running.  As far as I’m concerned my wife is an enabler of this.  Why should she adjust her schedule to something more convenient as long as my wife keeps volunteering to pick her up?

On the flipside, she is my wife’s daughter and I do want the best for her.  I’d hate to hear she is struggling and depressed, but I can’t get through to her and no else can either.  She’s an independant soul, wanting to conquer the world on her terms.  I wish her the best and hope and pray something good eventually happens.  She’s a good kid…has an attitude right now, but most kids do at this age…and hopefully she’ll see the light sooner than later.  I just don’t know, and I’m surprised this entry is as long as it is at this point.

Yup, that’s pretty much how long my “non-drinking” stint lasted.  I’m so ashamed.

My buddy called me yesterday and wanted to see if I’d meet him over at Cismontane Brewery after work for a beer.  I actually said “No.”  I told him I was on a new medication (true) and really shouldn’t be going out for a drink, and in the back of my head I thought by not going and being tempted I’d even save some money I’d most likely otherwise spend.  Double-win for me.

But unbeknownst to me, my wife invited said friend over for dinner instead, so when I got home at 5:45pm last night, I was greeted with a six-pack of Smithwick’s Irish Ale (by Guinness), one of my new favorites.  Damn it!!  I tried to play it cool, not only for them, but myself as well and justified in my head that ‘one beer will be okay’.  Yeah, we all know how that goes.

By the time I was outside getting my grill on with some HUGE steaks (none of us finished them by the way…at least I’m proud of my ‘portion’ control…I could have eaten the whole thing, but glad I didn’t), beer number two was almost already finished and by meal time, I did in fact have beer number 3.  *Sigh*

I really enjoy Smithwick’s Ale.  It’s pretty light in flavor, and you know it’s going to be good if it’s backed by Guinness.

So dinner was steak with a hint of Jeff Foxworthy’s BBQ Sauce (not bad), jalepeno artisan bread (1 slice for me), smokehouse BBQ bourbon beans, and a baked potato (sans cheese).  As you can see, I opted out of the cheese for my potato, ate only 1/2 my steak, and limited myself to one piece of bread and skipped desert.  At least it was a half-hearted attempt to be good, and I was in fact satisfied, but I’m feeling guilty this morning I never made it a complete 3 days without an adult beverage.

For breakfast this morning, I diced up some of that left over steak and combined with Egg Beaters and some southwestern salsa in a grilled tortilla for my own steak & egg breakfast taco.  Pretty darn yummy with my coffee, and I’ll be having two turkey sandwiches for lunch today with some spinich leaves, organic yellow mustard and a slice of colby jack cheese.

Before you feel the need to send me an email to remind me that my last two entries were about me making a concerted effort in dropping my cholesterol, weight, and putting off a few cocktails for a couple of weeks, this is in fact a blog that I like to share recipes with you.

And what two better ingredients to talk about than bacon and bourbon?  They say everything is better with bacon and who am I to disagree?  I will prove to you here today that in fact alcohol is indeed better with bacon.  Bourbon pairs very well with cured pork.  Haven’t you ever heard of the Jack Daniels brand of BBQ sauces? 

Whisky goes hand in hand with grilling, so it only makes sense that a relationship between bacon and whisky should be as natural as peanut butter and chocolate.  The lingering caramel hints match keenly with the richness and smoke of bacon while the whisky’s spice brings it all together like a warm hug from Olivia Wilde.

So let’s get to it.

You’ll need the following:

• A Lindsey Lohan starter kit of good bourbon, say 750ml of the decent stuff….don’t go generic or cheap on me here.  The impurities and bite of low grade whisky can make this slightly bitter and won’t help the headache front at all.  Go just about middle of the road, so as you aren’t spoiling the real good stuff either.
• 1lb bacon.  Also, look for as slab that may not be too high in salt or preservatives.  You’ll disappoint me if you buy the cheap bacon as well.  As a matter of fact, if that’s what you’re determined to do, then stop reading this now and move along….I don’t want to talk you.  No, seriously, move along and leave this to the proper gentlemen.
• A pitcher with a wide mouth. (Insert your own Kardashian joke here).
• A fine mesh strainer.
• Unbleached coffee filters or like filtering material.

Directions:

Start be frying the bacon up and reserving all of the grease.  Be careful of not burning your bacon….the burnt taste will infuse the grease which is something we want to avoid, that is unless you like the taste of charcoal briquettes.  Strain the grease and allow it to cool (be very careful, grease burns and accidents are painful).  Once cool, pour into pitcher along with your whisky, give a good stir, and place in freezer for a few hours (preferably overnight).  BTW: You have a pound of bacon to contend with now, so make yourself a salad or omelet or something.  When cold, the bacon grease will float to the top and form a solid fat cap.  Remove this solid cap as best as possible and strain the rest to remove any lingering fat chunks.  Your newly minted bacon infused bourbon will keep in the fridge for about 2-3 weeks.  Now try a pinch in a cup of hot chocolate, or other favorite whisky drink.  *You can use the same process on either vodka or tequila and wow your friends with a very unique Bloody Mary.

Hopefully I’ll have some time later today for a few additional posts.

Anyway, after yesterday’s post, I went ahead and looked up some side effects for my generic cholesterol medicine, Simvastatin, and realize this is exactly what is happening to me:

• Flatuence.
• Fatigue.
• Muscle soreness.
• Weight retention and in some cases weight gain.

I also spoke with my father who is also on the same medicine and he reported that he too feels bloated, so that explains a few things.  Doesn’t that suck?  You take medicine to help out in one area and it often affects you in a different area as well.

Anyway, last night for dinner it was two baked tilapia fish fillets and a bag of steamed veggies in a mild herb sauce, and two glasses of water.  I was a tad hungry later on, so I did have about a cup of salsa and some tortilla chips, but I’ll have you know there was no cheese that was added.

That’s going to be the hard part for me….portion control.  It’s all about retraining both my mind and stomach to be satisfied with less calories, even if they are healthy calories.  This morning for breakfast I had a single english muffin with a little pumpkin spice spread to tide me over until lunch.  I plan on trying this place called Dijon Chicken for my meal this afternoon and I’ll write up a review on Yelp when I’m done.  In the meantime, I’m looking for an Android App to help with dietary recording and requirements on a daily basis.

I’m not exactly sure what has gotten into me lately, but I’ve been really self-conscious about my weight in recent weeks.  I know I’ve said this before and I keep saying I’m going to do something about it, but like Oprah Winfrey at a Hostess factory, it’s harder that is sounds.

Perhaps it’s the fact that it seems my pant waistline feel snugger than ever before, that I feel slightly winded when I walk a little fast at work, or my knees feel a little sore when walking up stairs. 

The most recent revelation that hit home for me was on Halloween when my neighbor pinched my gut through my costume to make a joke.  I know it was all in fun and he meant no harm, but for that instant I knew exactly how a girl feels when she someone comments on her weight.  I kept the conversation going, laughing and never breaking character as if nothing had fazed me, but inside it really did.  It bothered me.

Then recently my wife started posting more pictures of me on Facebook from some of the backyard bbq’s and party’s we’ve been hosting and even I was taken a bit back from my current bodily shape.  I even told her don’t post any more pictures of me unless it’s from the chest up.

Now I can’t make a lot of excuses for myself.  I’ve been known to imbibe quite a few adult beverages on the weekends, and I’m always down for one more rib, one more wingette, one more scoop of mashed potatoes.  I’m not fooling anybody there including myself.

I have been on some medication lately, mainly generic Lipitor to help combat some elevated cholesterol levels and I honestly do believe that it does indeed have an unwanted side effect: you tend to retain or gain a little weight and get bloated.  As a matter of fact, I stopped taking my Lipitor for almost a week and noted without changing anything else in my diet for that week I dropped close to four pounds.  I’m also not as ‘gassy’ as I was when I was taking my pill nightly (something I’ll have to tell the doctor when I see him in a few weeks).

I’m also 40 years old now, and maybe my metabolism has shifted or slowed down a bit.  I’m not 20 years old any more and burning both ends of the candle any longer.  I do get tired more often now, slowly turning into my parents and ready for bed by 9:30 or 10pm nowadays whereas I could usually stay up much longer.

And I don’t eat like shit everyday.  I actually eat relatively decent.  I try and eat fish, steamed veggies, low-fat or non fat dairy, and drink a lot of water.  But I do like my breads, my pastas, and my sauces….I am Italian after all.

Now granted, I don’t go to the gym as much as I used to when I was young and single.  Back in those days I was hitting the gym 4-5 times a week.  I’m sure my metabolism was ramped up a bit more than it is today.  I also worked closer to the gym and had an earlier shift and so it was easy to drive 2 miles from work and 5 minutes from my house before I came home.  These days I’m in the car about an hour a day, and when I get off work and sit in traffic on the way home, the last thing I think about is hitting the gym.  That was also before I blew my shoulder out, not once, but twice.  Having a torn my rotator cuff twice, the surgeries, and the therapy that follows will slow you down as well.

So after all that drivel, you’re probably wondering when I’m going to get to my point.

Okay the point is this: Last week I weighed myself at the gym at a portly 237 lbs for a 5’10” frame.  I currently have a 36” waist which is probably closer to 37” if I’m going to be honest.  In my heyday, I used to bench over 300lbs and I had a rock solid chest.  Today, I’m lucky if I can bench 225 comfortably (without my shoulders crying out in protest).  My chest has atrophied a bit and my stomach has expanded….although I’m still pretty strong.

No it’s not my New Years resolution, but I’m determined more now than ever to drop weight.  I’m not going to make some ridiculous goal of getting down to 190 lbs (Doctor said 180 would be ideal), but I’m genetically a big guy anyway.  I haven’t weighed under 200 since 1993.  In 2003, for my wedding I got down to 216 on a modified Atkins diet and that was down from about 226, so I’ve gained a net of close to 20 lbs since my wedding seven years ago.

I’d like to get down to 215 between now and the New Year.  I know that may be hard to do with the Holidays right around the corner, but I’m going to try.  I really want to get into my old 34” jeans again…I have a whole closet full of pants that are 34” just sitting there.

I’m also going to try and stop drinking between now and the New Year as well.  Not completely however.   I mean, again, I’m being realistic to myself and I’m not not going to have a drink on Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years Eve, but I recognize that I don’t need the after work drink when I get home, and I don’t need to do the binge drinking on Friday and Saturday nights and the occasional Sunday afternoon with my neighbors and friends.  No, I need to stop that from a caloric and financial standpoint. 

So now you may be wondering, “Well, how can you have a website dedicated to cocktails and BBQ if you stop?”  I didn’t say I was going to stop…just cut back.  My BBQ will have to be about portion control.  I’ll have to do more turkey, chicken, and fish instead of beef and pork.  I’ll have to do more dry rubs than sugar based sauces.  I’ll have to have Bud Select 55 drinks instead of the multiple 150+ calorie whisky and coke’s I normally would drink.

This past Saturday I weighed in at 234lbs. and that night I had plenty to drink and eat.  I’ll consider that my last binge and need to make some baby step goals.  Today is November 15^th.  I am going to try and not have an alcohol based drink until Thanksgiving.  Including yesterday in which I had no drink, that will be 11 days.  Let’s see what I can do on mostly water and portion controlled size meals between now and then.

by Richard Goldsmith

The craft brewing explosion of the last decade has created a thirst for beer with much more character. This has opened the door for over the top flavor profiles – from high gravity beers that are more like liquor to thick and hearty triple stouts. But one of the most popular styles right now wears an overdose of hops as a badge of honor. These intensely bitter and bracing beers feature a pronounced bite that stays in your mouth all the way to the bottom of the glass…and beyond.

These brews tend to be India Pale Ales, a traditionally hoppy-flavored beer that measures high on the international bittering unit (IBU) scale, which is used to measure hop bitterness in beer. While they’re not necessarily the beer you want to down to quench a thirst worked up raking leaves or shoveling snow, they can be a great match for many rich and hearty foods that fit the season. At their best, hoppy brews work similarly to an acidic wine, clearing the palate for another taste of heavy, cold-weather grub. So cook up on something your cardiologist would disapprove of and settle in for a leisurely autumn evening with some of the hoppiest beers in the world – like the ones listed below.

Bell‘s Hopslam – A seasonal Imperial IPA that generally hits shelves in the dark of Winter, Hopslam can be found on some shelves and ordered online year round if you look hard enough. It’s a hazy gold in the glass, with hops absolutely dominating the aroma and flavor. The flavor is bitter to the point of being brutal, but balanced out by a hint of citrus. The more you drink, the more grapefruit and pineapple notes come through, but that may have something to do with the beer being bottled at a relatively high 10 percent ABV.

Founders Devil Dancer – This triple IPA does an impressive job of skirting the edge without dropping off the cliff of good taste. It’s a hop-bomb, no doubt about it. Ten hop varieties are mixed and its dry-hopped for 26 days, coming out on the other side astonishingly complex. The hops dominate the creamy mouth feel but still leave room for some citrus and a barleywine-like caramel and toffee overtone. Judicious use of malt enters the picture too, counteracting some of the bite. Even so, the brew just shouldn’t hang together in a cohesive whole, but somehow Founders found the secret formula.

Moylan’s Hopsickle – Another Imperial IPA, this one pours a nearly luminous orange and the hops don’t cover up the characteristic citrus and spice as much as other beers in our tasting. The bitter aftertaste mixes in an almost piney resin and just a little caramel malt. Much easier drinking than many Imperial IPAs, the dry finish and more forward fruit flavors make this the standout of the tasting to pair with a meal. Those relatively easy-drinking characteristics can catch up with you though. At 9.2 percent ABV, and disguising the heat of the alcohol under the intense hops, Hopsickle will sneak up on you.

Victory Brewing Hop Wallop – Dominated by hops from aroma to flavor, even the mildly sweet fruit, citrus and creamy smooth malt forming a backdrop can’t clear the lingering bitterness off the palate. It’s unapologetically bitter, but with a full body and enough alcohol at 8.5 percent ABV the effect becomes muted as the bottles go by. Paired up with strongly-flavored food that can cut through the intense hops, it’s a refreshing draught. On its own, it’s a beer to savor, coating your mouth with a strangely addictive citrus and hops combo that could overwhelm more delicate palates.