Cocktail Confessions

It’s been a bit of a stretch since I last rattled off a humorous little true tale.  At least I can say tthat after a few days, this story has indeed become more humorous to me as opposed to my initial disappointment and frustration when it took place a few evening ago.

First, let me give you all a little of the setup, or background.  I have an 18 year old step daughter, whom by all accounts is a very creative individual.  However, that being said, doesn’t always translate into practical street smarts or the comprehension of the obvious.  Often, my wife and and I find ourselves having to explain things to the “n-th” degree.  At times, it really can turn into an exercise in patience and I often ponder if this is a continual test from the creator to that is supposed to teach me a valuable lesson (which I find myself constantly failing BTW), or that He, in all His glory and wisdom has a gets bored on occasion and likes to amuse Himself by playing various Prank’d jokes on us all to see how we will react.

My step-daughter also only works part time.  And when I say part time, I literally mean about 16 hours a week.  She is currently not enrolled in traditional school (she’s attempting to get her GED or diploma equivlency through some ridiculous CA government run program that screams retail all over it).  All you, as the reader, need to know is this translates to my wife and I both working full time anywhere between 45-50 hours each a week, and allows my step-daughter to watch Sponge Bob or Comedy Central marathons at the equivalent of 8 hours day.  Something that will change shortly, by the way.

It would occasionally be nice to come home to maybe …., oh, say…. a prepared meal for the family seeing that we work all day long.  Is that too much to ask?  Is it out of line to think the that the house could be vacuumed, the kitchen floor mopped, or the plants watered occasionally,…..say between commercials, or is that oh soooo busy day of sitting on the couch pondering about getting a drivers license taking up too much valuable time?  Apparently so.

More times that I’d like to admit, either my wife or myself are the ones that come home from a long day at work, only to find ourselves doing the cleaning and making dinner.  Hardly seems fair, but also we need it done correctly and not half-assed, or as my a friend put it the other day, ‘quarter-assed’.

So the other night it was approaching 7pm and I had yet to start dinner (after a ten hour day) and my wife was bowling as she does once a week on a league.  My daughter came to me and inquired about dinner. Ugh, are you kidding me??  Again, and I know this may come off as sounding rude, mean, or not very understanding, but the fact that she was waiting for me yet once again to provide her sustenance after she sat home and did nothing all day long really irked me.  I think she got the initial gist of my facial contortion as she quickly recovered and offered up, ”Would you like me to make dinner for us?”

My jaw just about dropped.  Not only did she offer to make dinner, but she also included me into the mix and not as an afterthought or non-thought as is the usual case.  I said, “That would be nice.  There is some prepackaged fish in the freezer.  Just preheat the oven and pop them in.  I’m going to take a shower and be down in a bit.”, and I watched her scamper back downstairs and heard both the freezer open and oven start.  I thought everything was okay at this point. 

I should also know better by now.

After my shower, I began to traipse downstairs only to smell something slightly burning.  She was sitting on the couch, laptop in hand, exchanging glances between the TV screen and the computer she was inevitably harvesting crops in FarmVille.

I walked into the kitchen and opened the oven.

There were our fish fillets, on a cookie sheet, uncovered or protected, with their toppings having melted and slid off the fish and began to burn and bubble in a pool inside the oven.  I quickly pulled the cookie sheet out to avoid further burning and grabbed the box in which the fillets came.

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees,
2. PLACE FISH IN OVEN SAFE DISH
3. COVER
4. Bake for 22-25 minutes, or until fish is opaque in color

That’s it folks.  Four points of instruction in our native tongue of English.

Somehow, someway, and don’t even ask me to explain because I can’t and I’m just as left in the dark as you are, my daughter skipped over steps 2 & 3.  She got the oven to 425, and set the timer for 25 minutes, yet somehow was able to miss the part where you place the fish in an oven safe dish and then to cover them.  These instructions, I imagine, were there for the sole purpose to purposely avoid the topping spill over and burning.  When I asked her about this, the blank stare of a deer in head-lights spoke volumes.

I was just barely able to salvage the fillets with only half the toppings.  I then looked about the rest of the kitchen to see what else was being prepared.  Usually with a fish fillet dinner or when someone offers to cook you a dinner, one might expect to see a salad and/or a side dish as well.  A piece of bread may be a topper on a meal such as this.  Sadly, and not really to my surprise, there was nothing else on the menu this evening.  Nope, just over-cooked, dried-out fish on a cookie sheet.

The more I thought about it it that evening the angrier I was getting, but then I had an epiphany the following day.  Maybe my daughter is actually a genius!  Maybe by intentionally screwing up this meal, this is her way of saying “Look old man, maybe you need to cook dinner all the time.  I can’t possibly be bothered by reading instructions and therefor you will be more inclined to start dinner when you get home from work and how dare you interrupt my Facebook time.”  If that is indeed the case, then she is actually brilliant and a well played scheme on her end.

Hmmmm….

Not to long ago I had the opportunity to revisit a long forgotten dining treasure in south San Clemente, CA.  My good friend Brett came down from Idaho a few weeks back to visit for a few days, and one of his goals was to check off a few of his favorite eateries that he doesn’t get to enjoy anymore since moving away from the area years ago. 

In addition to the mandatory stop at In ‘N Out Burgers, he also wanted to hit up the original Pedro’s Tacos for a carne asada burrito, cheese quesadilla and taco and take it down to the San Clemente pier for a surf side picnic lunch.  It was a perfect day to do so and we made our way with our to-go bag and got a beach side table and watched the waves roll in late afternoon surrounded by local surfers and other beach goers.

I totally forgot how deliciously good Pedro’s is for a small hole-in-the-wall joint, and once again proves that sometimes simplicity often makes for the best meals. 

The original Pedro’s opened in south San Clement back in 1986 and became a hit with the local surf community and high school students for being the first fish taco stand in the area and having a relatively inexpensive menu.  Like wildfire, it gained in popularity mostly by word of mouth, a no frills menu, and accessibility to the community.  It’s one of those local legend stories that people outside of Orange County may not have heard of, but everyone else in the area will make a pilgrimage to Pedro’s sooner or later.  Over the years they’ve been able to open sites in north San Clemente, Fallbrook and more recently Oceanside.

Simple Menu = Simply Great

This past weekend as Monica and I were coming back to from a day down in Del Mar, I decided to take her to the original for her very first Pedro’s experience.  The place has a lot of charm as it is appears to once have been an actual home there on PCH built in the 50’s that was converted to a restaurant in the mid 80’s.  What was once the front yard is now adorned with a handful of small picnic tables, the backyard a parking lot, and a bedroom now a drive-thru.  There is no indoor seating, just a walk up order and pick-up window.  It’s fun to sit down at one of these tables and in the distance see the Pacific Ocean, especially at sunset in the summer.

Like I said, it’s a no-frills menu.  You can get items a-la-carte or a simple combo plate which includes rice and beans.  The beans and rice aren’t much to shout about, the rice is just traditional Spanish rice.  It’s not good, but it’s not bad either.  It’s what you’d expect fast food Spanish rice to taste like.  Same for the refried beans, although I tend to think they are a bit soupy at times.  But that’s not why you go.  Most people go for the simple fried fish taco’s, or their famous rolled taco’s topped with guacamole.

The quesadillas are old school.  Just cheddar cheese in a large flour tortilla, grilled and folded up in the shape of a square.  You can also get chicken and carne asada quesadillas as well, but I’d wager that the plain cheddar is the gold standard there.

Additionally, they serve traditional tacos and burritos as well, along with veggie, potato, and shrimp variations (although sometimes the carne tacos need to be drained a little better before being placed in the tortilla).  Pedro’s also boasts about a dozen breakfast burritos including steak & egg, chorizo, ham, beans, bacon, etc., and all the combinations thereof all served up to 10:00am.

But by far, if you are going to stop by you cannot go wrong with carne asada burrito.  For just under $4, you cannot get a more satisfying and savory burrito to tide you over at any time.  I don’t know what they marinate their steak in, but it has the very addictive slightly, yet noticeable salty component to it that just makes you salivate for just one more bite.  It’s a flour tortilla stuffed with meat, beans, cheese, guacamole and you must have the jalapeño salsa.  I cannot tell you how many people ask for extra jalapeno salsa.  Sure, it’s just in small clear packets, the kind most people tear open with their teeth and forefinger, but it is just perfect with just about anything on the menu.

So for a total of just under $15 we both had our own combo plates, a cheese quesadilla, and drinks.  You can’t go wrong at Pedro’s, it a little slice of hometown goodness that just can’t be replicated anywhere else.  While it is far from a 5 star experience, you need to keep in the mind it is just a hole-in-the-wall, cheap, and limited….but it always has a steady stream of foodies either lined up at the window or waiting in the drive-thru, so that has to tell you something.  Oh, and don’t forget the salsa packets!

This past Saturday I had the opportunity to attend the Huck Finn Jubilee out at Mojave Narrow’s Campground in Victorville, CA.  It was myself, my wife, my good friend Brian and his fiancee, Shea.  I plan on posting some future installments here about the jubilee itself, but there was one small thing I wanted to get out of the way first, the food at Vittle Village.

Now to our overall disapointment, there was absolutely no beer to be found at any of the vendor booths.  That makes one heck of a long day to be sitting out at a beautiful campground, listening to various bands based on early Americana bluegrass and country, with the smell of BBQ in the air with no way to purchase any beer.  There seems to be a lack of verifiable information on whether it was sold or not in the past.  Depending on who I spoke to in my desperate search for amber nectar, I was was pretty much told down the middle there was/wasn’t any beer the year before.

In the hopes of having some really good country inspired food, I had failed to eat breakfast that morning running on only about three cups of coffee until we made our way to the ‘foodie’ area of the fair at around 1pm.  Sadly to say the options were a tad limited.  If I can recall correctly there was on corndog/hotdog stand, one funnel cake vendor, one bratwurst/sausage kiosk, a tent that sold roasted corn on the cob, and another tent that had some plates of BBQ chicken and ribs.  The one that caught my eye was Ptrains BBQ which emphasized hot wings and a wood smoked BBQ chicken pizza.  Each vendor sold cans of soda or bottled water although there were two specialty drink places: one that sold either fresh lemonade or strawberry lemonade, and the other  homemade craft soda’s such as rootbeer and cream soda among some of their offerings.

I gravitated towards Ptrains because of the very large custom made BBQ pit shaped like an 1850′s era style steam train engine, and of course the smell of the wood laden fire.  In addition to my fondness of BBQ and cooking, I also enjoy model railroading, so the chance to learn more about this epic one-of-a-kind custom train pit and the sampling of some good ‘ole BBQ seemed perfect for me.

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Ptrains is a family run business based out of Rancho Cucamonga, CA.  You can go to their site and read the family story about Ptrains all there.  By looking at their schedule, it appears they travel to various events all over the place with pit in tow.  I can tell you that the whole family seemed very genuine and nice.  I had a chance to talk to one of the daughters who was overseeing the wings being cooked and she was very pleasant and was happy to share with me the story of the train.  The train itself happens to be a relatively new addition, being only a few months old and was custom built by a gentlemen in Houston, TX.   The man who built it (name escapes me right now) has built other well known grills including the famous Six-Gun Grill, and took so much pride in this train creation decided to drive it out himself to deliver it to the client only a few weeks back.  The Ptrain pit cost roughly $50K and duplicates steam era sound effects as well.

I’m not exactly sure what they offer to grill on the circuit, but on the menu today was only the pizza and chicken wings.  I hope in the future if I run into Ptrains again, they may offer up some brisket, ribs, or pork items.

Anyway, my buddy Brian had the wings and offered me one, but I declined.  I’m sorry that I did in retrospect because I would have liked to have included that experience here as well, but I can tell you Brian said he enjoyed his and they had a pleasant glaze and wasn’t too spicy.

I myself decided to try the wood fired bbq chicken pizza.  I can tell you it had a lot of potential, but just wasn’t there.  It wasn’t the taste per-se because Ptrains ketchup based bbq sauce is indeed mighty tasty (although not too spicy), but the execution of the actual pizza was a tad off.  First, even though the wood smoking induces a mouth watering aroma to the pizza, the crust itself wasn’t completely done.  It wasn’t as crisp as I would have liked it to be and a tad doughy in parts, as if it wasn’t cooked all the way through.  It probably could have stood a few more minutes on the grill to firm up a bit more.  Secondly, it was a bit over-sauced in the BBQ department.  I’m not exactly sure if they were trying to highlight the chicken or the sauce, but it came across as little heavy on the sauce.  Maybe because it was their first time here and it was a busy part of the day or they are still working the kinks out in the recipes, but I could have used a bit less sauce and a bit more chicken.  That being said, it wasn’t bad, but definetly room for improvement.

So I received a few requests for some of my Father’s Day 2010 recipe’s I made this past weekend, so I thought I’d share one of them with you today.  Now most people aren’t necessarily crazy about zucchini, not unless it’s fried and drowning in ranch dressing, and they are even more skeptical if you tell them its grilled. 

Well, this easily prepared dish I can tell you was met with rave reviews, even from my own mother, daughter, and nephew who are rarely ever seen even eating anything resembling close to a green cooked vegetable.  My daughter even ate two and I have often seen her ditch vegetables on her plate to the garbage can when she thinks no one is looking.

I guess the secret is in the bacon gremolata.  Hell, I wasn’t quite sure myself what ‘gremolata’ even meant until I looked the definition up to satisfy my own curiosity.  Basically gremolata is defined as a ‘chopped’ herb condiment usually consisting of garlic, parsley, and lemon zest and is Italian in origin.  But then again, everything is better with bacon, in that there is no doubt so you can’t really go wrong in the first place.

Anyway, it’s a great way I figure to introduce grilled vegetables to kids, and it looks very impressive and pretty when presented on the plate.  It appears to be much more involved than it really is and is sure to wow your guests when they think you spent quite a bit on time on it.

Ingredients:

• 4 medium-large zucchini (approx. 6 oz each)
• 2 Tbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice (save the lemon peel for the gremolata)
• 4 Tbsp olive oil
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/4 tsp kosher salt
• 1/4 tsp fresh cracked black pepper
• Bacon gremolata (recipe follows)

Directions (makes 8 servings):

1. Cut zucchini’s in half, lengthwise.  Using a melon baller or spoon, scoop out center to form 1/4 – 1/2″ shells.  Set aside.
2. In small bowl, combine lemon juice, oil, garlic, salt, pepper.  Brush zucchini shells with lemon mixture.  Place shells, cut side down, on grilling tray.
3. Grill shells over medium flame, 5-7 minutes or until cut sides begin to brown.  Turn shells over at this point (cut sides up) and grill 1 minute more.  Remove from grill.
4. Spoon bacon gremolata into shells, evenly, then return to grill.  Cover and grill 2-4 more minutes until cheese begins to melt.

Bacon Gremolata:

In a bowl combine a whole pack of crisp cooked bacon slices, drained, and finely crumbled (you can sub 1 cup finely chopped Canadian-bacon as well), 1 cup finely grated Parmesan and/or Romano cheese, 1/4 cup fresh basil (julienned), 1/4 cup fresh diced jalapeno pepper OR pepperoncini (I actually use a bit of both), 4 Tsp shredded lemon peel (use zester tool), 2 cloves minced garlic, 1/2 Tsp ground black pepper.  Mix well and spoon into shells.

Many congratulations to my wife, who just celebrated her ten year milestone at her place of employment.  I actually believe she’s been there a bit longer as she started off as a temporary employee before the company officially hired her as a full time employee.

The last few years have been a mental struggle for her, as I imagine it would be for anyone after ten years.  It’s hard to be continually challenged and motivated after so many years, especially when there are a lot of changes to the corporate structure every few months or so.  At times it can be very stressful for her as she will come home and tell me about some new bombshell that drops unexpectedly and a whole new management team is coming in.  It’s actually happened quite a few times with more and more frequency the last couple of years where they have had at least four different CEO’s within that time frame.  As you imagine, with each regime change, there is always new people coming in, old people leaving (not necessarily by choice), and shake-ups as to who is now reporting to who.

With all that being said, however, she has a decent job.  She works less than ten minutes from our house, every day is casual day, and her hours are somewhat flexible.  For as much heartache as it gives her, it could be a lot worse.

Needless to say, for her ten years of effort the parent company gave her an eight page catalog in which she can select a gift.  She brought the catalog home last night to show me and I honestly have to say, what a fricken’ joke.  I don’t know who at that company is in charge of employee relations or morale, but I cannot help but imagine some old little bitty who knits tea cozies is at the head of this thing.  All the gifts are so cheap looking, tacky, useless, or just plain outdated.

I had to laugh at the artwork section.  After ten years of service, who in the hell in their right mind is going to choose a piece of artwork by some unknown artist that you can easily pick up at a swap meet and look right at home in a dental office?  I mean really…a picture of a lion? An eagle soaring?  A barn in the middle of nowhere USA? Pathetic.

How about the ladies pastel pink checkered golf bag from 1970?  The brushed nickel analog clock paper weight?  How about the sterling silver ring some inlaid polished rock you’ve never heard of?  If those don’t catch your fancy, how about the glass bowl party snack holder?  The fluted vase?  The leather luggage tags?  Are you kidding me?  Ten years of service and you can have leather luggage tags.

Absolutely embarrassing and sad.  It’s not even my award and I feel insulted for her.  Why not just give her a healthy bonus check?  They think that picking some stupid flea market ‘Big Lots’ clearance reject is some lofty gesture on their part to show gratitude and appreciation for all those years of dedication.  I know, how about give her an extra week of vacation, or why not the catalog that the CEO gets to pick from.  Do you think for a minute that the CEO (if one ever lasts that long) is going to choose the simulated mahogany 5×7” picture frame?  He’d throw the catalog back across the desk, take his family out for a 5-star meal and charge it back as a business expense and laugh the whole way home.  I know I would.

My wife decided to look up many of these gifts to see their value on the Internet.  As you would expect, the majority fell along the lines of $59-$79 dollars, with the majority landing on the lower end of that spectrum.

With that being said there was one item in the catalog that may actually have some value to our family, and not necessarily for her, but more for me.  My wife was gracious enough to extend her gift to me instead and made the suggestion that we pick this particular item: a charcoal smoker.  Despite the fact that at Lowe’s it actually does retail for $59 (probably cheaper during July 4^th weekend or end of summer sale), my wife is sacrificing her earned gift to me which is a very generous and appreciated gesture.  So, I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to her and let her know I love her.

Now, once we get it, perhaps in her honor we can do a really nice smoked brisket and invite some of her close coworkers to our house later this summer for a celebratory BBQ.  It’ll give me a great excuse to try a new recipe and buy some nice apple or hickory wood and a stove-pipe charcoal starter with real ‘wood’ briquettes.  I’ll do a review of it once we try it out down the line.

At my house we generally entertain our friends, co-workers, and neighbors.  It’s not very often I have the pleasure and pressure for cooking for family.  I usually do it only a few times a year, and while my wife does indeed offer to help me, I’m one of those guys that doesn’t like too much help in the kitchen.  I craft the menus, do the grocery shopping, prep the kitchen, and all the while in my head try and calculate over/grill temperatures, cook times, and the order of stuff so it all comes out at the same time ready to eat.

For family get togethers I don’t “do” hamburgers and sausages on my grill.  Like I said, that is for the impromptu parties for the neighbors where I may do some wings and some brats as we swill various beers and tell crass jokes.  No, when my family is over, I want to give them an ‘experience’.  I am pretty confident in my cooking abilities, and I know I am a decent chef, and I like things done my way so I tend to get anxious and nervous when too many people start hovering about the kitchen.

Tonight I’m going to the grocery store.  I am crafting a meal for eight adults and two nephews.  Unfortunately my nephews will be getting hot dogs and hamburgers because their palate isn’t mature enough to appreciate some of what I have planned.  Yes, that may make me sound like a snobby uncle, but once you see my menu, try and picture a five year old boy enjoying this and not wanting to throw it away when no one is looking.  No, Grant is more the ‘chicken nugget’ type these days, and Mitchel is about the same.  He’s completely satisfied with a McDonald’s hamburger.

I have the added pressure of my in-laws and my brother and sister-in-law attending as well.  My father-in-law grills all the time, and when he grills, it’s generally for large parties of people.  One year for my 33rd birthday, he even grilled me an entire pig.  He’s accustomed to doing steaks and ribs multiple times a month, so I have to kick it up a notch just for for him.  Being that he was a Master Gunnery Sergeant in the Marines and spent many a year in the kitchen and behind the grill, he also tends to make (how do I put this nicely?)…um…standard or very traditional ribs.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but you can get that style of ribs at just about any chain BBQ joint.  No, mine need to be different.  I need to show off new styles and open up new flavor profiles that make mine stand out from what everyone is used to.

My brother and sister-in-law aren’t too bad in the kitchen themselves.  Rich goes camping often, shoots his own game and has been around the campfire plenty of times.  He was also a short order cook at small greasy spoon years ago.  Vivienne is also a good cook in her own right.  Like myself, she experiments quite a bit in the kitchen and is always swapping recipes with other bloggers, friends, family, and neighbors.  She has too.  She cooks for her husband and her four boys.  But she is more the Martha Stewart type, not so much the grill type. 

My own father doesn’t cook much of anything unless it can go in the microwave.  My mom does all of the cooking, and her dishes are typically regular “Americana” fare.  She’s a fine cook herself, but not a chef.  Nothing super fancy or complex comes out of her kicthen.  She’s more a comfort food person, all about the classics, and never touches a grill lest it be to bake an occasional potato.

So what’s on my Father’s Day menu this year? (pictures will come later when I actually do the cooking):

1. Braised pork baby back ribs that will be finished on the grill.  I’ll make my own fresh dry rub and braising liquid, start them in the oven and finish on my grill.  Brushed at the end with my own BBQ sauce.
2. Curry-lime chicken kabobs as an appetizer.  Boneless chicken chunks marinated in a homemade yogurt/curry sauce infused with lime, cilantro, Dijon and threaded along with summer squash, red/yellow/orange peppers and various cherry tomatoes.
3. Grilled Zuccini boats stuffed with a bacon gremolata with aged parmesan cheese and a hint of fresh jalepneo from my own chili garden, brushed with a crisp lemon and basil infused oil.
4. Deviled egg potato salad.  Okay, this one is store bought through and through.  My super market makes it fresh daily, and saves me a lot of time.  I’d make this myself, but I already have quite a bit on my plate as it is.
5. Grilled corn on the cob with a chil-avocado butter.
6. Strawberry and spinach salad with feta cheese crumbles, toasted almond slivers and a raspberry/walnut vinaigrette.
7. Desert – Still not sure.  I was going to make home made ice-cream, but at this point, I may just go with pre-made stuff.  If I was going to be home this Saturday (tomorrow), I would go te extra mile and make ice cream, but Monica and I will be out for the entire day (thus my grocery shopping tonight).

One of my all time favorite chef personalities is Bobby Flay.  From his early days on Food Network TV, I have pretty much followed him for the better part of a decade after I first ran across one of his earlier shows “Grilln’ & Chillin’“. 

I was pretty much hooked on his interpretation and fusion of southwestern dishes.  Since those early years on TV, no can deny he has garnered quite a following from the numerous shows he has hosted and energetic charisma.  He has opened a few restaurants over the years as well, namely the famous Bolo (now closed), Mesa Grill, and the more recently Bobby’s Burger Palace.

Bobby currently hosts “Throwdown! with Bobby Flay“, “Grill Nation“, “Grill It! with Bobby Flay“, co-hosts “The Next Food Network Star” and of course is a coveted “Iron Chef America“.  He is definitely one of my early inspirations for first wanting to picking up a set of tongs and claiming the BBQ as my outdoor kitchen.  Over the years I have received his cook books, accessories, and pre-packaged rubs as gifts and have enjoyed them all.  I suppose my secret passion is to both eat at Mesa Grill and to also meet Chef Flay in person.

But enough of the history lesson.  Let’s get down to business.  The ‘Cuban Burger’ is actually a Flay re-interpretation of the Cuban classic sandwich that is pressed and grilled as if it were a panini.  Traditionally, it was made with cold sliced pork, sliced Serrano ham, dill pickles, Swiss cheese and yellow mustard, all on buttered Cuban bread (made with lard, not oil). 

Chef Flay made this his own by substituting the pork with a grilled beef burger, buns, Dijon mustard and a garlic mayonnaise spread.  I made it that way when I first saw him grill this and it is was absolutely delicious….a very unexpected treat for a burger.  Simple, yet effective.

As anyone who knows me, I too like to experiment in the kitchen and come up with my own twists on recipes and stylizing it as my own.  I can’t really say its my creation, but it is indeed my spin on the Cuban Burger and every single time I make it for friends and family, I have always had someone ask me for the recipe.  That makes me feel really good, and while in the end it is just a burger, I have had more than a handful of guests tell me it’s one of the best burgers they have ever had. 

The good news is it’s pretty darn simple to make.  There is a little bit of extra assembly mid stream, but it’s not rocket science by any means and you can customize this further and make it your own as well.

Be careful though, a bit too much customization and complexity may be your foil.  You won’t catch a Cuban putting lettuce or tomato on this as it would be considered too much of an American-ization of a classic.  But I say, you could probably swap the bun for ciabatta rolls, maybe try a dab of chimichurri sauce or a banana pepper along with the pickles, and maybe try your favorite mustard. 

Anyway, with out further ado, here is the Cocktail Confessions Cuban Burger:

• Preheat grill to medium-high heat. (Make sure grate is clean and seasoned. Use a non-stcik spray if need be)
• Form fresh ground chuck into 1/4 inch patties.  While most burgers are ‘ground beef’, I prefer ‘ground chuck’.  It is slightly leaner at 15-20% fat whereas regular hamburger meat is closer to 30% fat.  This means that not only is chuck a healthier choice, but won’t shrink or flare up as much on the grill.  In a pinch, you can find frozen pre-made patties (in different qualities and grades) at the store, but make sure you thaw them out before the next step.
• Season patties with fresh ground black pepper and kosher or sea salt.  Please try and avoid iodized table salt and pepper if you can, I guarantee your taste buds will thank you later.
• Have slices of good quality Swiss cheese on standby.  Should be one slice for every patty, and don’t skimp here by using processed cellophane wrapped slices.  Also have slices of good smoked ham and kosher dill pickles stacker’s on standby.
• Tear off sheets of aluminum foil that you’ll be able to wrap your burgers in and place aside for the time being.
• Grill patties 2-3 minutes each side for medium doneness.  Longer if desired, but remember, we’re not done cooking these yet.
• While grilling the meat, you can combine 2-3 smashed or pureed cloves of garlic to about a 1/2 cup of mayonnaise.  For a healthier choice, go ahead and substitute Smart Balance mayo (I can’t really tell the difference in taste to be honest), and to save this step even further, Kraft has recently introduced a Hot & Spicy mayo in a squeeze bottle.  This stuff is the bomb.
• Spread both sides of your split bun with your mayo and mustard.  Here, I use high quality Dijon mustard (not yellow) which is either smooth or stone ground.  I also use my Kraft Hot & Spicy here.  My buns are a slightly higher quality than generic hamburger buns.  I like mine with sesame seed sprinkled on the top, or I’ll use potato buns large enough for a burger, or ciabatta rolls if I have a bit extra to spend.
• Begin assembling your burgers by placing the cooked meat patties down on lower bun, followed by slice of Swiss, followed by a slice or two of your smoked ham, and top off with at least two long strips of sandwich stacker dill pickles.  Put bun top on and now wrap each assembled burger in a sheet of tin foil.
• Using your hands, press down on the wrapped burger, not smash, but enough to compact them to a slightly flatter shape.
• Lower heat on grill to medium, and place wrapped burgers back on for approx. two minutes, then flip for an additional two minutes.  This should be long enough to not only heat the bun and meat, but melt the cheese inside.

That’s it.  I know my directions may seem a tad lengthy, but once you assemble the first one the rest are a snap and pretty much fool proof.  Like I said, this is pretty close to the spirit of a real Cuban sandwich, and you change a few ingredients, but I wouldn’t deviate that much.  This is one of those recipe’s where less is more, or “keep it simple, stupid”.

Once you unwrap these I’d be surprised if you didn’t get a few compliments.  I’d probably have a side dish of grilled watermelon, maybe some ranch style beans, some southwestern potato salad, or other Latin/caribbean inspired sides such as a jicama slaw.

Drink wise I’d shoot for a mojito or some other tropical light rum cocktail.  Try some iced watermelon or traditional sangria, or maybe a good cold IPA or medium bodied beer.  Anyway, I hope you enjoy this recipe, and I’d love to get your feedback.

This is more or less a quick entry on the state of affairs over here at my blog.

I’ve got a few things lined up in the coming days and weeks including some additional video’s and a podcast I just recorded with my buddy Brett who visited from Idaho this past week.  I’ll have some new recipes up soon, including Cuban burgers (that were a hit at this Friday’s last BBQ), grilled zucchini boats with a bacon gremolata, a new cocktail recipe dubbed ‘The Camel Toe’ for you vodka and tropical drink lovers, and a refreshing watermelon sangria.

I’ll have a few stories to share that took place with my friend Brett, especially our afternoon visit to Turq’s in Dana Point where we get talked to death by druken senior citizens, some additional video of the San Clemente Pier, a review of the Original Pedro’s tacos, some random shots at Cook’ Corner, Dana Point Harbor, S.C. Pier, and more.

This upcoming weekend, my wife and I are going to the Huck Finn Jubilee up in Victorville, CA with our friends Brian and his fiance Shea as well as my college friend Sam and his wife Alicia.  We’ll be there for the beer, food, and good ‘ole bluegrass music and banjo championships.  I expect to get some good vittles there and hopefully taste some good brews.

On the technical side of things, I just upgraded the NextGen Gallery here to v1.5.3 and I also finally purchased a ‘shoot & share’ video camera in the form of the purple Kodak Playsport along with a 8GB SD card.  I’ve posted a few videos up at YouTube, and I hope to not only use it this weekend at the Jubilee, but also do some grilling recipe and preparation “How-To” videos here in the future.  I also have to finish the Earthbox series that I began a few weeks back.  I already have some great jalepeno peppers and tons of cilantro that we are using.

I did have one bummer issue that happened over the weekend.  This past Saturday my Behringer 502 USB mixing board died on me.  I was actually right in the middle of recording a podcast with Brett and at about the 40 minute mark there was a slight pop in my earphones and when I looked at the screen for status I noticed a flat line on Audacity.  The board is just over a year old (March ’09)  and I purchased it through Amazon.  Of course I don’t have the box anymore, so I’m gonna try and get an RMA straight from Behringer, and looking at their support website it appears that they make you jump through hoops for repair. *Sigh*.  The good news is I picked up my Zoom recorder and was able to finish our podcast, but I’ll have to mash the two files together and do some additional editing before I get the next episode posted….maybe in another week since this weekend is already claimed.

I’ve been a bit quiet on the blogging front the last few days, and probably will be again for at least a few more, so apologies for that upfront.

The last few days of work have been mind-numbing and soul-sucking to say the least, so the fact I have a very good friend flying in this afternoon from Idaho to stay with me the next few days is a very welcome distraction and the timing could not have been better.

He’s my friend Brett Lotero, whom I met in the mid 90′s through some mutual friends.  As these things tend to work out neither one of us see or talk so much to the mutual friends who once introduced us, but Brett and I have maintained a pretty solid friendship over the years even though we now live close to 950 miles apart.

I pick him up today at the airport at just after noon, and for the next few days we will be having great food, great drinks, and hopefully great memories.  For example, he can’t get ‘In-N-Out’ burgers being out in Idaho, so first up on our docket today is to rectify that with a good ‘ole Double-Double.  We’ll probably head out to Cook’s Corner as well for a few drinks, and maybe BevMo to pick up some nice beers and a good bottle of whisky (for me) and rum (for him).  Dinner is up in the air right now, but I have some ideas.

Thursday should bring us down to San Clemente for a good breakfast, some sight seeing along the coast, and perhaps a drive out to Hells Kitchen off the Ortega Highway, and maybe a stop off at Big Helens on the way back.  But we’re totally playing it by ear, and we may do something completely different.  I hope to record a raw podcast with him maybe this day for future postings.  He’s got a few good stories in him.

Friday brings us to his last full day here.  Not exactly sure what we’ll do yet during the day, but we are planning to have a BBQ that night with some old chums.  I think Cuban burgers are on the menu, so I know we’ll hit the store sometime that day.  We’ll also hit up Daily’s Sports Bar at least once to see if he can run into some of his old co-workers.  Brett finally goes back Saturday afternoon which will give me some time to do laundry myself and other stuff to finish out the weekend.

I’m sure I’ll be giving my Droid’s ‘Four Square’, ‘Gowalla’, and ‘Trip Journal’ applications a workout the next few days, so batteries are fully charged as well as the portable power cables.  Oh, and I also got my new Kodak Playsport yesterday in the mail as well, and that’s fully charged now so I’ll be taking some video’s as well.

Anyway, hopefully I’ll be able to share some of these pics and vids with you over the next few days, or at least this weekend after the festivities.  I’ll also share my recipe for Cuban burgers, and I may even try doing that by video.  Look for a few cocktail recipes, some establishment (read: saloon) reviews, and perhaps a long awaited new podcast.

Cheers!

The last few days I’ve had a mild case of writers block when it’s come to thinking about a topic to discuss .  Oh, I’ve had a few ideas percolating within the old noggin, mostly about my upcoming few days off, or some great beers I’ve recently had.   However, just as I was about to put it off for yet another day, I realized my place of employment has a rich cavern of stupid gems I can mine from on a regular basis, and today I struck gold!

We have a thing at work called ’5S’, and the majority of normal folk can’t tell you what all the S’s stand for (Sort, Shine are all I can remember), but it’s an idea developed by the Japanese that has something to do along the lines of making your place of employment a better overall experience.  It has to do with maintaining a clean and safe environment, things should look tidy and put away, everything in order…blah, blah, blah.  In concept it sounds like a decent idea, but in practice and personal experience it’s more of a hassle that only a few people seem to really get off on. 

And by a few people, I mean a minority handful of select kiss-asses who take this concept to an irrational level of eleven.  I swear, it has turned these individuals into the Gestapo of ridiculous policies where a committee of ‘yes men’ all pat themselves on the back for forming an adhoc committee to discuss the obvious.  The problem I have with it is that it takes all the ability of logical problem solving skills and responsibility of the sane workers and places it in the hands of a handful who take forever to rule on what would seem a no-brainer to the rest. 

This committee of five or six has a tour once every three months, armed with a digital camera, clip boards, and frazzled panic and walk around the facilities to point out and document things that need to be cleaned up, repaired, or fixed for safety reasons.  Like I said, 5S seems decent in concept, but now its more of a nuisance than anything else.  The majority of big ticket items were addressed the first few times.  Now I have the feeling they are just making shit up or going overboard to justify their own experience.  It’s as if they ‘have’ to find something on each walkthru now, and if they don’t they either failed or try harder.  It’s gotten nit-picky to epic proportions and eye-roll inducing at worst.  I am convinced they are on a mission to write anything down now just so they can say they found something.  God forbid the company actually passes one of these tours.  It has literally come down to things such as which font is used to mark a door, or how wide a tape marker is….a half inch or a quarter inch these days.

All this leads up to today’s asinine event: The speaker.

Apparently they had a dry run today for the actual walkthru on Wednesday of this week.  In one of our least populated buildings there is a secured area that only a few people have access to and way out of the way for a regular employee to find themselves near.   Now in that secured room which has plenty of open space, there is a single mono speaker sitting on a portable plastic step….in the corner. 

There is nothing special or noteworthy about this speaker other than the fact it looks like it came from Radio Shack back in the late 70′s as it is adorned with some tacky beige tweed fabric.  It doesn’t work, or at least it hasn’t been hooked up to anything in at least three years that I have been with the company, and I’m sure many years before that.  Like I said, it is sitting in a corner doing nothing but collecting dust.

Anyway, even though the ‘committee’ has walked through this area multiple times in the past and this speaker has never caused a problem, stolen any kids lunch money, or made racial epithets, today it has now become a red-ticket, high priority, def-con-one issue.  Why today and not the last dozen times they’ve walked through this room?  Your guess is as good as mine.

So the committee of managers and higher-up muckity-mucks decide to talk amongst themselves and call my boss.  My boss in turns talks with another supervisor to discuss who owns the speaker, what is it doing now, what was it’s original purpose, and what can the company do about it before Wednesday.  Both my boss and supervisor then contact yours truly to understand and glean information from me on the history and current dossier of the six inch woofer.  I explain that is has been there for longer than I have been employed here, that it is not hooked up nor has been for at least three years and that no one knows who is responsible for it judging from the quarter inch of dust on it.  I simply reply, “Throw it out.”

I am instead met with “Well, we have to follow procedures.” and “We have to make some calls.” and more back and forth banter between them seemingly goes on for much longer than a govermental selection and vetting process of a Supreme Court nominee. 

Finally, when it is all said and done, they open an electronic ticket for me in our work process flow system to have me dispose of the speaker.  This equates to me printing out a ticket, walking down to the building, grabbing the speaker, throwing it in the trash, walking back, and then closing out the ticket.  My manual labor of throwing the speaker out was all of 30 seconds….the paperwork I had to acknowledge and then sign afterwards about ten minutes worth.

Now why none of the Muckity-mucks couldn’t just throw it out themselves in the beginning and just be done with it?  Why make multiple phone calls to various people to discuss the fate of a speaker that is clear close to forty years old and doing nothing but holding down a non-moving step ladder?  Why open a ticket and assign it to me for something this ludicrous?  Who the hell knows other than to justify their won existence.  I mean why bother with trying to improve employee moral, or invest in new equipment to make our jobs easier, or strategizing about how to improve our overall standing in the marketplace….there are paperclips out of place somewhere and mismatching paper cups in the cafeteria, and by golly, we’re going to find them.