Cocktail Confessions

*Welcome to middle age

Well it’s official and there’s no denying it now.  Despite the slight premature graying of my hair I could once seemingly pass off as George Clooney-’esque’ in nature, I am clearly now entering middle age.

It all started a few months back when I noticed that my eyes were getting a tad more tired than usual.  At first I thought I just needed a little extra sleep, or perhaps a day or two not staring at a computer screen or bright lights.  Maybe cut back a little on the weekend beer tasting.  As I stated in my last entry on this subject, up unto this point, my eyesight has been relatively great.  20/15 as far as my general practitioner is concerned.

But after a few weeks of taking a little extra care, my comfort level wasn’t improving any.  My eyesight feel just fine for anything over 3 feet.  I still can see very far away with pretty good accuracy.  It was the closeups that were starting to bother me.  I noted it take me a little extra effort to focus on the stuff right on front of my face, i.e. magazines, books, models. 

I had my first real eye exam in five years just over a week ago, and as the optometrist stated “Well, welcome to 40.”  I guess she wasn’t overly concerned and treated this with the same attitude as all the other schmucks around my age go.  Well, I’m glad she’s non-chalant about it, but it really doesn’t make me feel much better.  It’s just additional confirmation that this organic organism that I am currently inhabiting is slowly breaking down and there’s not much I can do as far as warranties go.  Oh, I suppose I could, through proper habits, help extend the warranty, but I can’t turn back the clock.

After a battery of tests and starting through differing lens and devices and having my eyeball mapped, it was determined I am in the need for reading glasses.  I’ll admit that when she said she was going to give me a glaucoma test, I was picturing myself smoking my very first joint (something I have never done BTW), and hanging out in my backyard listening to an irie Bob Marley and eating Cheetos by the bag full with a silly grin on my face. 

The doctor even offered to have me get contacts, but I shied away from that as it just seems like a huge hassle with never ending expenses and time involved.  Most of the time I can’t even remember where I place my keys or wallet, let alone the idea of searching for contacts.  So I just opted for the regular glasses, and even with insurance, basic frames and lenses cost me $169.

Thankfully I was able to pick out some fashionable frames.  They are made by Nike and are ‘flexible’, meaning I can sit on them (by accident of course) and not worry about snapping or breaking them.

I’m still getting used to wearing them.  They are pretty good when reading a book now, as long as I hold the pages three feet away.  Any further out, they start to get blurry again and anything distant the glasses really suck and get in my way.  No, they are clearly for reading.

The picture above is me, entering middle age, sitting at my desk at work….Note that all fun and spirit have been sucked dry from the company.